sinemetu

hmm so ive been putting off an update for numerous reasons but im sure most are in my head. ive worked 56 hours since monday dont have a day off till wednesday. i am currently stretched out on my bed in panties trying to get comfy and stretch the knot out under my should blade. it seems unreachable so here i am typing. ive realized since my last post i have some issues but who doesnt? i just dont know how to really handle them. i one seem to clinge to people and relationships looking for fairytale endings in the most ridick places. i also am still dealing with body issues that i never handled. a green pepper is not a lunch. and being a fatty eating crazy meals does not replace the feelings i think i need to survive. its funny that i seem to have figured my self out but am still on a path of self destruction. i need the voice of reason to calm and explain but i seem to push them as far away as i could. tonight after a loooonnnnngggg as day my boyfriend as he has named himself but as i dont really understand our relationship got mad i went for a beer after work. he has moved waayyyyy out of state for a 7 week internship that he works 3 days a week and gets drunk the rest of the time. how in the world is there a right to get mad especially since we met at work and he knows all of these people. the friends i would call for some explanation of the situation already think im making a mistake by dating him in the first place . they constantly as when im going to date someone who wants to be married. ouch..but so true..when will i decide enough is enough?,,