sinemetu

uhh i feel so sick and zoo stupid!! ok so flashback: get and the bf get iphones bill is crazy look through it find out why and discover he is texting someone all hours of the night while i sleep..our biggest issue is communication. we work through it why i don't know vie said once a cheater always a cheater. ok they didn't have a physical relationship but the fact we struggle with communicating but he can text all night with someone else..ok so today im at home chilling bored phone goes off..my bill is ready and what do i do follow my gut and look to see if this number pops up..o no but 4 new ones..am i stupid? so i text him and freak out like there is no explaining this at all. after this last situation he's like i know your the one form e i cant imagine my self with anyone else..so is that why your texting all these girls. fuck you dude. im heart broken the one girl was like i don't even know a guy by that name andif u text me again im calling the cops i said please do and have him come bail your whore ass out.so angry. like im supposed to be all these things and what do i get but cheated on. I feel like im truly unloveable. i give it all for nothing. so now my life is completely upside down now. no love..no job..it sucks..so now i just want to blow the little money i have left and go somewhere tropical and just float away. i cant let him have my happiness my sanity. but wtf..im afraid he is gonna come home from work if thats where he really is and just punch him..im just so confused how people can just be so mean to each other. like i know im a soul child and believe in hippie shit but come one karma will get him but what about me i always find it so hard to look out for me and when i put myself first i feel horriably selfish. what the fcuk seriously what the fuck