simianzero

If life had a reset button, I'd reset and go back to my last savepoint.

Then I'd level up by killing slimes for a few hours.

I was just thinking... When one commits suicide, I'm curious how many people go to the trouble of fully loading their gun.

I mean, I know to me, it's pretty common sense that you're just gonna need the one bullet. But then, y'know, there's the school of thought that when one loads a gun, one is inclined to just load all 6 chambers, or...
Read More

Today it occured to me that there is one crucial ingredient missing from what would otherwise be my happiness and wellbeing. My quality of life would be increased 300% if there was an individual whom would provide me with scalp massage on a regular or semi-regular basis.

And this is where you come in. I am seeking a female willing to rub my head. Males...
Read More

Dear Dan On the Inside,

I hope you're doing well. I don't mean sound like I'm trying to place blame, because I know you're trying to exorcize your demons and get your ducks back in a line, but you're starting to make me look bad. Without your indispensable assistance, we're in danger of losing some of our most valued customers.

So, let me be the...
Read More

There is absolutely nothing more soothing than driving around town at 1am, listening to jazz on NPR. Nothing. Definitely my favorite guilty pleasure. The world just totally goes away.

ZERO TO DRUNK IN TWENTY MINUTES! THIS IS A NEW PERSONAL BEST.

HOLY CRAP I RULE.

It's been a loooooong time since i got drunk and climbed on stuff. Too long.

You come from nothing, you go back to nothing.