We were joined today by 65 Americans from the Harvard business school. Any patriotism I may have mentioned recently, vanished in a flash of smoke. I confused them, they couldn't tell where I was from -- apparently my accent is quite muddled. First, the accent, I loathe the accent of any American over 40, patronizing, obnoxious, and dare I say self absorbed. They pretend to listen when you talk, then go on about what they were talking about anyways. Their jokes are awful, dreadful even. Bad puns, learned and the repeated over and over. No originality at all. The only conversational joy I managed at all was with a Scot who had the misfortune of marrying an American woman with a hatchet face and a personality like Rosie O' Donall(sp, I don't watch TV). They boys took the piss out of me, saying my "American" was coming back when my accent reverted, and I added an extra sentence to every conversation. Apparently I have learned to be more frugal with my words, provided no of my countrymen are about. I the proceeded to talk in rhyming slang for the rest of the afternoon, just out of spite. We had a giraffe about it.
I then had a swim, to wash off the star spangled soot.
I love the country and I love it here, but I am far from ever being settled, there is no one around here. The only bar within walking distance is a scummy place called "Bar de Spot", which incidentally has no TV and as far as I can tell nothing to do with sport at all. The barman is a French troll with a shit blonde mullet and missing teeth. The village is full of French hillbillies and chavs (of the froggy sort). I can't wait to get to Marseille and meet some people, get drunk and have a riotous time. The boys save my sanity and keep this a rad place to be, they are much fun. Joe told me today that I need to have sex with a French girl, "Just so you can hear the 'ooo's".
Far from my apparent snark, I am in good humour; in better spirits then I have been in recent memory. Nothing is ever perfect, every paradise is missing a piece or two.
I then had a swim, to wash off the star spangled soot.
I love the country and I love it here, but I am far from ever being settled, there is no one around here. The only bar within walking distance is a scummy place called "Bar de Spot", which incidentally has no TV and as far as I can tell nothing to do with sport at all. The barman is a French troll with a shit blonde mullet and missing teeth. The village is full of French hillbillies and chavs (of the froggy sort). I can't wait to get to Marseille and meet some people, get drunk and have a riotous time. The boys save my sanity and keep this a rad place to be, they are much fun. Joe told me today that I need to have sex with a French girl, "Just so you can hear the 'ooo's".
Far from my apparent snark, I am in good humour; in better spirits then I have been in recent memory. Nothing is ever perfect, every paradise is missing a piece or two.
I don't feel I am drowning in cynicism, however. Sometimes, it 's just necessary to ponder difficult circumstances from all angles. In my life, enough time has been spent as a starry-eyed romantic, a lover of Love. That time is over. Keeping your eyes on the stars gets you kicked in the nads.
This doesn't depress me, it emboldens me, it frees me. I am raising a cry against fooling yourself by singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." After being plundered and plucked and left to dry enough times, with no one to blame but myself, I am declaring my independence from need and my dedication to doing and not being tied to an unsophisticated longing for Love.
I look for partners, not completion. This may not be apparent from this one piece. I'm not that good of a writer as to be always able tofit all my thoughts into everything. It's just slices at a time.
I don't fear the darkness. I need not to be reborn. I stay aware of history.
Cheers.
Are you ever going to be happy youngun?! You weren't happy here now you're complaining about there. Stick it to some French chick, relax, don't over-think. It is what it is, remember?
I, just in case you were wondering, am fucking marvelous.