And I've been makin' promises I know I'll never keep.
One of these days I'm gonna leave you in your sleep.
I have to go when the whistle blows-
The whistle knows my name.
Baby, I was born on a train.
-The Magnetic Fields
I lay there like a floodlit ham, waiting for the axe to fall.
Where is this mythical book that I am writing, it seems like ages siince I last put down a word, almost as if it was another self, an alternate universe where I dance with grey martians, making ready for battle. Career and literature seem to be mutually exclusive. I want both, I want frieght trains I wan the Aegean, the Red Sea, the Strait of Malaca, the Great Barrier Reef, todos. Not tommorow, but today. I want to be my own Messiah, everything else can burn.
someday i'll finish the book i started. problem is, i can only write a lot when i'm discontent. as soon as i'm happy the creative juices coagulate. it's a rather double edged sword.