silvermoon

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like you are losing the will to live?, like the whole world is falling over you and there is no salvation?.
Have you ever felt like you wanna run forever?, like you wanna be in another place, like you wanna leave all behind and start fresh again?.
Have you ever felt like you the love of your life just slipped out of your hands and you will be alone forever?, like you are too old to start over again, and trying to achieve happiness is just a waste of time.
Well my friend, you are not the only one, someday, somehow we all feel like that, is like an episode, a really hard episode that we need to pass over, is an obstacle, a load that we need to get rid of.
Love, is a very complicated thing, and many of us feel like we have found love (that always is a person), and now that is gone, all the hope is gone, all the happiness, and now you are wilting in front of the mirror while the tears burn your face making an averno in your soul. I know exactly how it feels, im one of those that live for the passion, and when im happy, the moon shines more and the stars guide every dream that lies in my soul; when im sad, the light of the sun can only burn my soul more, and the wings that make me fly are scabbed and weak.
But i remember that once i found something that i lost again, and is the love for everything, look, love as we all believe, is not a person, love is an infinite feeling that we use to make finite, we put boundaries, and moreover we attach it to our happiness, and is true!, but not when you relate it to a single person, love is happiness when we understand that is the harmony of the "everything", when we really learn to love that everything that surround us, the dawn, the moon, the twilight, the rain, the pain, the hate, our enemies and our friends, when we learn that revenge is only and stab back to our own soul, when you understand that hate is also good, but when you don't let it manipulate you, when you understand it and learn to forgive. Look, i don't wanna seem like a very wise guy, because i'm not, many of my words are very hard to assimilate for me, and is easier to say it than do it; but i have felt this!, i did it, and lost it cause i attached my happiness to a single person, by imprisoning that feeling to that single person, then i lost it, and i feel lost too, not because she is gone and is the hardest thing that have ever happened to me, i'm lost because i forgot how to love, i lost the spark of life, of love.
Yeah, we feel like we wanna run forever, change the people, the place, the weather, the life, the language, and we can run and do it, but then you'll realize that the problem wasn't the people, the place, the weather, the language or whatever excuse you came with to lie to yourself, the problem is you, or me, or us, you can change everything around you, but you will feel the same because the problem is inside you, in your soul, and your soul is a part of everything, then everything become the problem with you; everywhere you go, you will make everything grey, because you are grey, everywhere you go will be ugly, because you feel ugly.
And then we try to drown the pain in alcohol, try to asphyxiate it with weed, to suffocate it with drugs, and guess what?, pain happens to be very tough shit, immortal i would say, but it has an achilles heel, wich is love, yes love, real love. When we learn to love for real, and understand that love is an infinite feeling, then one day that person will come, your soulmate, your other half or however you wanna call it. But first you gotta happy with yourself, with who you are. I remember that my aunt that is like another mom to me told me once, " you cannot love someone else when you dont even love yourself", and she was right!. You think you love that person, and you are only looking in that person the happiness you cant have for yourself, and we live that "love", that's why when is gone, then the whole world is gone, the dreams, the hopes, the wishes; i'm not saying that when you found the love i'm talking about, and the person you are with goes, you wont feel bad or feel pain, because is bullshit, but you will understand that if that person is meant to be with you, will be with you, if is not, then is not; it hurts? yeah it hurts, but you will find the purpose of that person in your life, why she/he was with you. You will hurt, will understand, will heal, and will move away, that's what is life about, live something, and when is gone, get over it, move on to the next step or next experience. Those who don't move on, will never grow up, will never be happy, and will never reach the goals that you putted to yourself before you were born.
My words are hard to swallow, even hard for me, but this i know, and i wanted to share it with all of you, and specially with some of you that are burning into ashes. Please read carefully my words, if you want ,do it over again. Because "we all have a phoenix inside us... let it rise"...

Thanks for reading and of course i have a song for this post, one of the most beautiful songs i ever heard, and is for your lovesick.

The band is Xandria and the song is Eversleeping. This is not the video of the song, once again i looked up for one with the lyric so you don't miss a word.



Thanks again for reading, i hope it makes you feel better and open your eyes to all the beauty that is outside.
Be free to share this post with those that are like you or that feel down.

Kisses to everyone and love...