I dreamt I was running as fast as the wind. I kept looking behind me thinking that the person I was running from was following and would catch me. But I didn't want to be caught. I wanted to run forever.
Then fear set in and I was afraid I would never be caught. I was afraind I would carry on forever running and people would just leave me to my own. I became so afraid that I would out run everyone and in the end I would be alone running forever.
The forest around me turning blue/green/black as the twilight appeared. I had long hair that flowed behind me. I couldn't stop running. The fear made run faster I couldn't stop, please someone make me stop. Please someone catch me.
No one ever did. I woke up. I was crying. I felt so lost. What could I do?
I went to get pizza for dinner tonite. As I waited for it I stood looking out the window. There was this tree that framed the window perfectly, I could see the yellow/blue sky through the sparkling leaves and thought to myself, "what a tangled web I have spun". I have made so many wrong choices in life that have left me staring at the bloody mess of brokenness. I have no one to blame but myself. I keep making these choices over and over and over again, knowing I have no control over the end result that usually leaves me insecure and crying.
I can't throw myself a pity party. I can't expect others to help me fix it. I can't let someone's anger pull me through its hoops until I want to crawl back into my black cave.
So I was sitting there thinking selfish/pity party thoughts and I could feel the lady sitting next to me keep looking over to try and talk. I looked up and caught her eye. She smiled, "I love looking at the people make pizza, its so interesting to see how each one does his job." What a touching thought.
People who find happiness are the ones who see past themselves and see others instead. To see joy in watching someone else do their job is not something I would have thought brings joy. But the sparkle in her eye and the the smile she gave held such warmth, it was one of those smiles that soothed the soul. She is probably a lonely lady who has suffered much and lived to tell her life through the warmth of a smile. I wish her happiness for the rest of her life.
Why does my heart fear love?
Why does love pursue me?
Why does my heart flee and my mind reach?
Can you catch me?
For I am afraid I can run forever
Run, Run, Run
What is it called when kind people are driven to madness and despair by the inheriantly evil and vindictive people in the world....oh...wait....now I remember.....society!
Then fear set in and I was afraid I would never be caught. I was afraind I would carry on forever running and people would just leave me to my own. I became so afraid that I would out run everyone and in the end I would be alone running forever.
The forest around me turning blue/green/black as the twilight appeared. I had long hair that flowed behind me. I couldn't stop running. The fear made run faster I couldn't stop, please someone make me stop. Please someone catch me.
No one ever did. I woke up. I was crying. I felt so lost. What could I do?
I went to get pizza for dinner tonite. As I waited for it I stood looking out the window. There was this tree that framed the window perfectly, I could see the yellow/blue sky through the sparkling leaves and thought to myself, "what a tangled web I have spun". I have made so many wrong choices in life that have left me staring at the bloody mess of brokenness. I have no one to blame but myself. I keep making these choices over and over and over again, knowing I have no control over the end result that usually leaves me insecure and crying.
I can't throw myself a pity party. I can't expect others to help me fix it. I can't let someone's anger pull me through its hoops until I want to crawl back into my black cave.
So I was sitting there thinking selfish/pity party thoughts and I could feel the lady sitting next to me keep looking over to try and talk. I looked up and caught her eye. She smiled, "I love looking at the people make pizza, its so interesting to see how each one does his job." What a touching thought.
People who find happiness are the ones who see past themselves and see others instead. To see joy in watching someone else do their job is not something I would have thought brings joy. But the sparkle in her eye and the the smile she gave held such warmth, it was one of those smiles that soothed the soul. She is probably a lonely lady who has suffered much and lived to tell her life through the warmth of a smile. I wish her happiness for the rest of her life.
Why does my heart fear love?
Why does love pursue me?
Why does my heart flee and my mind reach?
Can you catch me?
For I am afraid I can run forever
Run, Run, Run
What is it called when kind people are driven to madness and despair by the inheriantly evil and vindictive people in the world....oh...wait....now I remember.....society!
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What kind of cat does she think you'll get?
My cat could never eat a dog, not even some little toy dog.