No leave of absence. I was set to do that but then I panicked and just decided to limit my availability so I can get some freaking normalcy in my life. I've just completed my 4th (maybe 5th?) day of being back on my meds and it's making a big difference in my thought processes and moods but Shark Week has officially begun while I was at work today so that could be credited for the extreme moodiness I've been in the past couple weeks... crying for no good reason, despair, depression, lack of motivation... but that's like the last year, it feels like. I got to be turning this thing around soon, I hope. As things fall into place more and more I'm feeling more and more at home.
The talk with my dad went well. It bothers him but it's to be expected. He's a conservative white Republican male who served in the military most of his adult life, was an only child to parents who stayed married until my grandfather died 15 years ago, and has no tattoos to speak of. I'll give him some slack. My sister and I are the most wild of his children, and we're not really that bad. We maintain good relationships with our parents, we're just the products of two single parents who worked a lot so we mostly had to fend for ourselves. He has a buuuuuuuunch of regrets in that department and no amount of my, "but I love my life" explanations will ease his regret in not being the best father he feels he could've been. I feel I have the best dad. I wouldn't trade him for the world. He did his best the only way he really knew how and no one can fault him for it. He's done his time, he's paid his dues and now he's living a pretty good life with my step-mom and I have the privilege of calling him "Dad."
Yup, I have no regrets nor will I ever wish things were different. Well, my own present circumstances, sure. I could use more money and a job that I love getting up for in the morning but that'll happen. In the meantime, I'm liking where I'm sitting now and I have both parents who love and support me regardless... now to see how the rest of the family reacts. Maybe I'll wait to have that conversation if (when?) I finally become a model of this damn site (still not a hopeful yet and my application was accepted 2 years ago. Talk about procrastination!)
(My mom said, "see I told you. What he doesn't know won't hurt him," which I kind of agree but not my cup of tea. My life is slowly coming together as planned.)
Besos!
Aimee