I typed out this pretty epic blog a couple days ago and I hit "post blog" one too many times, I guess and SG ate it all up.
Poo...
Anyway, not much is going on in my world, really. Just been working and rearranging my apartment trying to make it feel more and more like home while trying to find a place for all my stuff. I have way too much stuff and/or not enough places to put it all. Probably a combination of the two. I could really use a bookcase because I really think it'll solve a lot of problems. That and a bed tall enough to put my storage boxes under it. I don't have enough closet space to keep it AND house all of my clothing and shoes.
It's a mess. I'm such a hoarder... or borderline hoarder I guess. I not THAT bad when it comes to collecting and getting rid of stuff... I'm just fucking lazy and I have ADD. Not to mention I hate cleaning. I'm learning to like it tho.
I gave myself a pep talk last night about getting my shit together. I think I got through to myself because tonight after work, I put together my bed finally (two halves of a queen sized mattress), put down a rug and rearranged my bedroom. I have way too many clothes... It's pretty fucking ridiculous. But I like that I have so much variety... I just wish I had enough room for it all.
But I love it. The past few weeks haven't been the greatest as far as my mental state. I keep comparing my life now to how it was, how it could/should be and to others' lives, as much as I hate to admit it. These past few days have finally felt like I'm content with where I am and looking forward to what I want to create next. I don't know what flipped but maybe it was just getting represent to myself again and what it is that I really want.
Being alone can be a blessing and a curse for that very reason... my mind wanders to what I'd rather be doing or wishing for something to be different rather than focusing on the present and what's next in reality. I love the way my brain works because I can get myself out of that way of thinking. I don't know what it takes but it takes something.
I've been working out as often as I can, mostly because of this gym class (that I might have mentioned in previous blogs) that I HAVE TO pass. I'm such a procrastinator that I now have no choice to go to the gym almost every day, or at least 4 times a week. I feel a total shift and difference in my mental state so I think that has a lot to do with why I finally feel connected to myself and where I am again. I dunno, it's awesome even though I hate going to the gym. I think I hate it because I have to go. I can't wait for the addiction to set in... Maybe I'll get to the point of two-a-days again, ala Gainesville circa 2004-2006. That time of my life was awesome and I feel like I'm reconnecting to who I was then... someone with a plan and a purpose. Someone who was present to what was going on around me and engaging with life wholeheartedly.
Yeah, life is very good. I've missed this feeling.
OH! And my application was accepted!! Now I just need to ACTUALLY shoot a set! Sweet!!!
Until next time!
Besos!
Aimee
I married myself.
Old people glasses. Don't hate.
My favorite roadtrip buddy.
Fall, baby!
The newest member of the family, Rosie. My mom and sister share custody of her.
Goodbye, Honda! Hello, Mazda!
Winter is coming... on the road to Denver.
