I laid in bed last night thinking of my future. I've come to the realization and revelation that I'm not living in the present. I'm sort of looking forward, but mostly with the past in mind. I care a lot for Ryan. I want nothing but the best for him and I need to not continue to hold on to what "could have been" and live my life for me.
So I've let go. If we continue to be friends, awesome! If we get back together, even better! But if none of that happens, so be it. I'm tired of putting forth effort and have it not go the way I want it. I need to let go of my expectations and let go of the past and live my life in the present. I may go back to Colorado, I may not. Part of me really does want to get back to what I started, but I'm not making any promises to anyone other than myself... to make every moment and every opportunity count.
So, come January, we'll see where I end up. All I'm going to do is continue to work towards all the goals I've set for myself and not promise that I'll be in any one location.
The future is promised to no one.
So I've let go. If we continue to be friends, awesome! If we get back together, even better! But if none of that happens, so be it. I'm tired of putting forth effort and have it not go the way I want it. I need to let go of my expectations and let go of the past and live my life in the present. I may go back to Colorado, I may not. Part of me really does want to get back to what I started, but I'm not making any promises to anyone other than myself... to make every moment and every opportunity count.
So, come January, we'll see where I end up. All I'm going to do is continue to work towards all the goals I've set for myself and not promise that I'll be in any one location.
The future is promised to no one.
thedarkness:
Good luck with it girl, do what makes you the happiest.
branden:
Awww, no I shaved my head! That is just a wig. But i will be getting it braided again as soon as it grows out! Yay!