I have such an uneasy, sick feeling in my stomach.
I've been thinking a lot lately about all the plans that I abandoned back in Colorado. I originally went back from Florida to finish things that I had started, and, once again, I left. I didn't leave Colorado. I was going towards what I considered an opportunity, but I don't think I really thought it through. Things here really are going great. I found out some things about my boss, and the legal trouble he might come into if all that is going on, finally gets out and people start wanting to make some changes.
The integrity of this office is in question, along with the motives of my boss and I felt like looking at my sister and saying, "THIS is what you brought me into?? This is the great opportunity you thought I would fit well with."
Not only do a feel a bit blind-sided, I feel like making such a rash decision was against my better judgment. In Colorado, I was struggling a bit financially, but I was working me way out of it, on my own. I didn't have hand-outs from anyone. I was making sure that everything I did, I[/i} worked for. I don't want to be in debt to anyone.
So, I'm seriously considering that this working vacation is about time to come to an end. I don't feel like this is home and I think I've been lead off the path I had chosen to get me where I wanted to go. I want to get back on that path. Everything I was working towards in Colorado was perfectly aligned for that purpose and I want to get back to that... this time, very certain that that is what I want to do, and preparing myself to do so, both emotionally and financially.
When I mention to anyone that I may be thinking this, I know I'm going to get some flack for it. My family thinks that I get out when things are tough. I'll admit, I did that in the past.
*sigh*
I need to figure out where I need to be.
I've been thinking a lot lately about all the plans that I abandoned back in Colorado. I originally went back from Florida to finish things that I had started, and, once again, I left. I didn't leave Colorado. I was going towards what I considered an opportunity, but I don't think I really thought it through. Things here really are going great. I found out some things about my boss, and the legal trouble he might come into if all that is going on, finally gets out and people start wanting to make some changes.
The integrity of this office is in question, along with the motives of my boss and I felt like looking at my sister and saying, "THIS is what you brought me into?? This is the great opportunity you thought I would fit well with."
Not only do a feel a bit blind-sided, I feel like making such a rash decision was against my better judgment. In Colorado, I was struggling a bit financially, but I was working me way out of it, on my own. I didn't have hand-outs from anyone. I was making sure that everything I did, I[/i} worked for. I don't want to be in debt to anyone.
So, I'm seriously considering that this working vacation is about time to come to an end. I don't feel like this is home and I think I've been lead off the path I had chosen to get me where I wanted to go. I want to get back on that path. Everything I was working towards in Colorado was perfectly aligned for that purpose and I want to get back to that... this time, very certain that that is what I want to do, and preparing myself to do so, both emotionally and financially.
When I mention to anyone that I may be thinking this, I know I'm going to get some flack for it. My family thinks that I get out when things are tough. I'll admit, I did that in the past.
*sigh*
I need to figure out where I need to be.