Monday Dec 27, 2004

0
i can be so ungrateful sometimes.

i hate how i have a tendency i ruin nice times and nice things, and how i still, even after all this time, begin to ruin relationships, even when i KNOW not to. i know what to avoid- being jealous- bringing up the past- gaining someone's trust to know more about them and then using that information against them. and the sad thing is is that i know not to do it, i KNOW i shouldn't and that if i do i will end up fucking everything up.

im so close to going both ways- either making this great thing work out, or beginning that long drawn out misery that i know all too well.

i need advise.. . . why is my head so fucked.? whatever mad
decayingyouth:
What is the simplest way of explaining what happen last night without making it sound stupid? I went to visit my crush, her name is Marja, to watch some invader zim and queer as folks. Some how the evening turning into playful teasing, but nothing serious happened. I think there was one instance were you could have said that we a kissed. But it was still an amazing evening. She may be playing games with me, but thats ok because I went into the situation knowing that was an option. But the perk is she said I was growing on her, I hope that much is true. I talked to Marja last night and she said she really enjoyed that even as well, that comment made me very happy. I've had a spring in my step for the last two day.
decayingyouth:
Logic will heart your heart.
In short you may be think to much .

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