Gosh its crazy how much life can change, one minute your flying, the next you crashed into a glass wall and are tumbling to the ground. That pretty much sums me up right now. I feel so utterly lost with who i have known myself to be for the last three and a half years of my relationship. A relationship that has now seen its end. Its weird even typing that down. I dont know that i have quite accepted it for what it is yet. The past week has been so foreign, i dont know what to do with myself. I guess that for the longest time i have always had someone to automatically go to, a buffer for the bored times if you will. But it was also much more than that. A best friend and confidant, someone to listen to and to bitch to and to love and explore. Now that that constant thing in my life is gone, i find myself thinking "What do you want to do?" YOU being the key word. Im having a hard time adjusting to just thinking about myself all the time and not worrying about another person, one so closely linked to my every decision. In a way it is kindof a relief to not have to exhaust myself with worry, but at the same time, i am exhausting myself trying to think of new things to occupy my thoughts and time. This is going to be a hard road to travel. But i know that its the right thing for me right now. I can just sense myself growing so much.
Im reading Eat Pray Love right now and it is exactly the book i should be reading right now. She has some amazing point of views and insight on life love, food and relationships, and inner peace. I am devouring it up.
Im not sure if i mentioned that i will be starting school on monday! For esthetics. It could not have come at a better time in my life. At least some things are finally coming together after 2 years or so of procrastination! Bring it on!
There are some gorgeous lilies in my yard right now, just beautiful creations!
Wish me luck on my journey ahead all you creative souls out there, i am going to need all the good vibes and good energy that i can get! Thanks for listening.
xoxo
Im reading Eat Pray Love right now and it is exactly the book i should be reading right now. She has some amazing point of views and insight on life love, food and relationships, and inner peace. I am devouring it up.
Im not sure if i mentioned that i will be starting school on monday! For esthetics. It could not have come at a better time in my life. At least some things are finally coming together after 2 years or so of procrastination! Bring it on!
There are some gorgeous lilies in my yard right now, just beautiful creations!
Wish me luck on my journey ahead all you creative souls out there, i am going to need all the good vibes and good energy that i can get! Thanks for listening.
xoxo
kellenthirteen:
Sending out some seriously good vibes to you girl...I'm in the same boat ending a 3 year 'situation'...it's been 2 1/2 weeks now and it's getting easier in some ways and harder in others...wish i could say it gets better fast, but i do know you get stronger 
...you look pretty!!!
...you look pretty!!!