I think things are coming to an end finally and sadly.

4

We are nearing the end phase now. The worst part, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow and it looks like she will pass tomorrow. Not cool universe, not cool at all. I'm not sure about it being tomorrow, it may be today but who knows at this point. It's not good no matter how you look at it. She's forsaken all food and water, it's been two days since she last had fluids. I don't expect her to regain consciousness at this point and honestly, I just want her suffering to end. I've been at this for the last three weeks (longer if you count from the very beginning of all of this, just under two and a half months now.) just watching in horror as this shit fest unfolds. I'm drained, tired and weary as fuck right now. I had a minute to blog this here and I am sorry to anyone that comes across this and is bummed out. I am sorry. Not the kind of thing I usually post about but this is a once in a lifetime thing and I cannot contain the anger, sadness and sheer pain I feel for my mom let alone the agony she must be in even though she isn't conscious. I won't go into specifics but the sounds she is making are killing me. I am not complaining at all, just know that. It's just super difficult to watch my mom and dear friend that she is as well be in such pain that even unconscious, she is letting out noises that affirm that she is indeed feeling the pains of passing.

Again, sorry for the bummer post. But this is now in the end stages and I truly want her to be done with this fight since there is nothing to be gained for her health wise. The longer this drags on now it's just sheer agony for her and my family and friends. I hope everyone else is safe and alright and that you and your loved ones are doing well. Please, cherish every moment you have with them and never take any of it for granted. I know that if I could, I'd still spend way more time than I already did with my mom. I'd do that in a heartbeat. Much love and respect to all of you and I'll see you on the other side of this unpleasant and saddening situation. You all have my undying gratitude for those of you that have shown support in any manner/fashion be it the smallest of things to truly loved and appreciated things that I'd have never expected from any other online community. Yet another shining example of the amazing bunch that is the SG family/site.

See you when I see you.

SilentObjectorX

zweitesich:
It hurts to read that. But you don't have to apologize. We are all human beings so sharing some pain and putting your feelings into words can heal some pain. That is why so many poets created, sometimes hard, pieces of art. I hope your mom does not feel the pain of leaving. I also hope that she will enter a better brighter future in a place and time she really likes. Keep her in your mind, keep the good moments with her alive. I think she will always stay in your heart and be at your side. When dark hours will come she can share her light our of your memory to cheer you up and bring your steps forward. Stay strong and support your dad.
silentobjectorx:
@zweitesich hey buddy, thank you for all the kind words of support and ways to "center" myself as well.  You have been one of the people on site that has been an immense help and outlet of support I've felt from members of the SG site/family.  Unfortunately, not long after posting this on the 19th, everything finally fell apart.  See the blog I just posted today to find out what all happened if you want to.  Again, thank you buddy.  You've been great and I truly appreciate all you have said and just you as well my friend.  You have made things just a little bit easier and so have others.  So again, you have my undying gratitude man.

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