silentjoi

What a day/week/month. I think my march got to a rocky start. There are so many isuues tht just keep coming up in my relationship. Mainly racial issues, but I supoose that's what I get for falling for a "white boy". It's very frustrating to see his family and know that there are the few who don't want me there. I just don't think that they realized how serious we are about each other. I mean our two year aniiversary is next month. And it really hurts knowing that his stepdad is racist and talks shit all the time, but smiles right in my face. I have no respect for him. I suppose i was naive going into this realtionship, expecting everyone to be like me in the fact that i was raised well. There was never any racist remarks in my house. Of course I didn't go around thining the whole world is ok and everyone loves each other. there are very racist people in this town, and they aren't shy about it either. hell a white supremacist group marches about an hour from here every year. I just thought that they guy i'd fall in love with would have a family that would accept me for me. Knowing the in the begining his mom would say to him "Hey TJ there's a cute white girl, why don't you go with a white girl?" And now the subject of his happiness has come into play with them. He asked his mom why she just can't be happy that he is.

This is all very depressing and frustrating, and mind you that the race issue isn't the only bump in my relationship. His fear of brancing out to other places plays a role in it too. I've traveled all over, been a lot of places, and would like to continue to do so, but he doesn't.

I've got me issues as well. Depression loves to creep in and out of my life. Lately it doesn't want to leave. It's almost ostara though, time for new beginnings.