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silentchild

NOLA

Member Since 2003

Followers 9 Following 266

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Wednesday Dec 15, 2004

Dec 15, 2004
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My heart beats only out of habit

that's my new fucking mantra

the world shits on me on a daily basis and I grow tired of it. Going out with 'friends' reinforces why I am a social pariah. I let people fuck me over and don't do anything about it until it's too fucking late. Shove my ass in a blender and call me dip. Remember to scoop me out with blue corn tortilla chips, my chunkified remains will taste better that way. Fuck your saviors, fuck your prophets. I am the onion and no one fucking respects that. I wear my heart on my sleeve to see who pins it first. Blah blah blah. The flesh is evil, my soul is eternal and does me no good.

Watching the morning sun
My pockets are empty now
I don't have anything
old, out-dated black boots
and this little flower he had
looking into the city
cabs, buildings, people
a rocket, booms in the sky
my mind flies

thank you Chico Science... you died too young, but your spirit still lives in the music you made. You and Rozz are my trinity, this light-heart of mine dies temporarily. Watch for its ressurrection and the rants it brings.

I have been having dreams filled with the symbolism of my youth. A week of sleep paralysis and nightmares. I see glasses, missing one lens and sometimes an arm. They are mine and I know what they mean. I polish my heart, to watch it shatter like the mirrors I smashed in my youth when I could not bear to see the pain of my heart. If there was a time I needed the friendship of others it is now. I can not walk a mountain with a donkey on my back. God does not just get it backwards for me, he fucks it up.

If you couldn't tell, I'm bitter and pissed. Please comment. Slake this thirst for talking, my soul is bare and needs to be chewed up and spit out.
sophie:
oh you adorable little pariah. i want to chew you up and spit you out but i don't. i want to give you what you want, but is verbal abuse really it?

how about a backrub instead? maybe some finger painting? fresh chocolate chip cookies? a really good book?

when you feel this way you must treat yourself. if no one else will be good to you, it is up to you to take the lead. your brain is so big, direct it towards thinking up release, relaxation, renewal.

or just get mad at this posting and hate me. kiss
Dec 16, 2004
sophie:
eeeee he he he he he! the LORAX!!!!!
Dec 16, 2004

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