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silencio

Springfield

Member Since 2004

Followers 6 Following 21

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Monday Oct 03, 2005

Oct 3, 2005
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I hate working on the car. The battery was fried so I was forced to install a new one. There was no way I was going to take it to the shop. Spent too much time and money there in the last week. So I decided to do it myself.
Pain in the ass. It was kind of funny. The car was parked in front of my mother's house. It was early in the evening. Young girls were out walking. Little kids were playing outside. Retirees standing around talking about nothing. The evening was very Norman Rockwell.
There I was bent under the hood of the car poking and prodding at the battery. Struggling to get to get it disconnected.
"Fuckin' piece of shit! Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Goddamned car! Wish I was in New York. I wouldn't need a fuckin' car! Fuck, mother fuck!" I've been trying to cut back on my use of profanity. Unfortunately, the car brings out the beast in me.
"If it doesn't start, I'm gonna burn this fuckin' car. Fuckin' piece of shit! Goddamn it to fuckin' hell!"
Yeah, I was pissed. Half-way through, I had flashbacks to when I use to help my father work on the car. I would hold the flashlight while he tore the engine apart.
"Goddamn it, boy! Shine the light there! Son of a bitch! Fuck!" It always made laugh to here the old man say 'fuck'. He only said it when he was in a rage. It seems funny now, but it always shocked me back then. The man would get this look. A strange, angry, hate-filled look when he got really angry. It was always over something stupid like spark plugs or something my mom would do. I don't really remember now.
I finally got the battery in and all was good...for now. I'm buying a brand new car when I get my income tax return. Never had a new car before. Never cared to have one. But I figured it's time to get one. I plan on doing lots of long distance driving in the near future.

ER is on. What a depressing show. I love it.

No alcohol or pills(sleeping, painkillers) for the next couple of weeks. I need to filter out the system. I might have brain cancer. Too much poison.

A friend called me today while I was waiting for a tow truck. We were supposed to go out to lunch. I was angry about the car and I think I may said some unkind words to her. I've been friends with her for a few years now. Never been mean to her. Never needed to be. But She kind of got on my nerves. It wasn't friendship-ending bad, but I don't recall ever talking to her like I did today. We'll see.

Time to go put in my Kelly Clarkson CD, play at full volume, and cry myself to sleep.






belladea:
You're in good company. I'll be crying myself to sleep today too. Life is such a smelly cunt.

Apologizing to your friend might just work. You should try it. wink

I liked your story about your dad. I got yelled at a lot for not shining the flashlight properly. Dads are all alike.
Oct 3, 2005

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