Sunday Sep 18, 2005

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Saturday night. Came home to find my roommate passed out drunk on the couch. This was at 9:30 PM. There was a total of five empty wine bottles in the apartment. Is that a large amount to drink in one sitting? I don't know. I rarely drink wine. I almost drank a bottle by myself the other night. I couldn't finish it. Just can't get into it. It's been a long time since I've been out of mind fucked up. Gettin' old. Seeing people like my roommate makes me want to quit drinking. Crying, pathetic loser alcoholic. Sits around, drinks, cries over stupid shit. I hope someone shoots me if I ever become like that. It's bad when I say someone has a drinking problem cause I have a powerful thirst for the brew. But I think I know where to draw the line. This guy is FUCKED UP. Back alley bum drunk. He's hostile towards everyone when he's drunk. I don't understand why everyone else can take his shit. Then I think about his friends and I realize that they're almost as fucked up as him. He's only 26. Life hasn't been that bad for him. I know he's dealt with some shit in his life, but who hasn't? Fuck! It was a huge mistake to move in with this guy. But I guess I was more concerned about getting the apartment than who I would be living with. Fuck it, what do I care? Reality's going to hit him hard someday. I just hope I'm not around when it happens.

Fugue played at the ballroom. Excellent show. I do love the rock n' roll. Especially the loud ear drum busting rock n' roll! I saw them a few times at the Looney Bin on Commercial street. That was way back in the day.

I need to start running again. I miss it.

What else do I want to rant about? I can't wait for robots to take over. I can't wait to get the internet in my apartment. The music of Leonard Cohen makes me feel crazy. I wish I was funny like some people. They always have clever things to say at just the right moments.

Lately, everybody has been acting like a fucking salesman to me. Small talk conversations are weird. I talked about baseball with someone the other day. I stopped paying attention to baseball back in late 80s or early 90s. They went on strike which pissed me off immensely. But I managed to bullshit my way through the conversation. I got a kick out of that.

Procrastinating, procrastinating, procrastinating...

I've been thinking of a character for a short story or a movie for awhile now. I have this picture of the character in my head. While shopping the other day, I saw a person that looked EXACTLY like the character in my head. Same hair style, glasses, braces, blank stare, smiling, the same face... It freaked me out. In a good way. I love it when that happens.


Back to work.

...the things that you tell yourself, they'll kill you in time...
belladea:
Yes... being married to one's roommate sux. Seems being married to yours would be doubly so.

The last time I got stupid drunk was a couple of years ago, when a good friend of mine died. 10 shots of Jack. I passed out with my head on the toilet. Even while that drunk and sad I could feel how stupid I looked. I'll never be able to drink whiskey again. I can't drink past the ability to stand up anymore. My vanity won't let me.

I wrote a fugue once... in B minor... just to see if I could. It wasn't as hard as I was led to believe.

I've been listening to a lot of Leonard as of late. I always listen to a lot of Leonard. He's one of the few I am always in the mood for.




toughgirl:
alcoholics, they'll only bring you down in their self-destruction, you just gotta let him do his shit, it's terrible, but they don't want help until they actually want to change. it's a sad thing to watch.
braces? you've been thinking of making a character with braces, interesting, I don't even think about braces anymore, I think they are the farthest thing from my mind.
I see you're going to the shackshakers too, yay! were you there in january? he broke out numchucks!! crazy southern hickabillys.

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