Tomorrow is THE DAY. So, I probably won't be around for a week. The exam is Monday through Wednesday, and then Thursday and Friday invovle intoxication and video games. So, don't expect to see me for a few days. I mean, not that I'm so indispensible to your daily life or anything. [And, let's be honest - I'll totally have to let you all know how it went. I'm sure I'll be updating like first thing Thursday AM because I am compelled. 
]
I'm trying today mostly to keep busy ... keep my mind off things as it were. My wife is doing some work this afternoon, but later we're going to get out of the house. Until then, I think I'll go ahead and update with something inane.
So, anyway, as part of keeping me entertained .. I'll tell you a "woe is me" story. Only, it's sort of interesting.
When I started grad school, I never wanted to be one of *those* grad students. Those of you in higher ed probably know what I mean: that student that brings an extra coffee to seminar for the profesor? That guy who does all the extra work - for free - on a professor's web page (maybe not even a professor he's working for..), "just because?" That woman who picks up all of her advisor's dry cleaning? I never wanted to be *that.* It's not I think I'm so great (or those folks who do that are necessariliy SO bad), or I strut about with so much confidence ... I just wanted to keep something resembling dignity and a modicum of professionalism.
Now, again, I'll gladly be friends with my faculty - share a cup of coffee or whatever. But, really, I don't want to be exploited. So keeping things professional is just A-OK with me.
But - I have been hosed.
As I mentioned before, I spent this summer watching my advisor's place. It was up in Wicker Park - a 40 minute commute (one way) that cost me $4/day round trip (and I went about 3 times a week, for about 12 weeks, which is roughly $144 just on bus fare this summer). The job was pretty gravy - check on the house, send E. the mail every 10 days or so. He said I could use the car, his grill (though I'd have to buy propane), or just hang out at the house (though, it's quite far from the University where I was working and where my wife works) and watch TV (but, I have my own cable thankyousoverymuch). Well, I didn't really DO those things - b/c I had no need of them.
So, E. gets back, and I stop by to drop off his house keys ... and I'm sort of wondering: "Am I going to get paid for this?" He asked me this as a "favor" - and he never mentioned money. In fact, it seemed that maybe he thought just being allowed to use his TV or whateaver was payment enough. But, ya know, it was 3 months of me watering the plants in his kitchen and sending him his mail. It was a forty minute commute; it wasn't like I was picking up the mail for the guy down the hall or only commuting up "north" for four days. This was a serious undertaking, and E. seems like a stand up guy. Surely, being I'm a broke grad student and he summers in Hamptons and lives in Wicker park in a 2-story condo, surely - he would throw me a bone.
The long and short of it: I TOTALLY didn't get paid a red cent. Hell, I didn't even get a FREE MEAL (I figure I'd at least get a good dinner out of it).
Honestly, I was kinda pissed off. I was pissed not only that I got hosed, but that I essentially got *tricked* into being one of *those* grad students. It felt, in some ways, like I was a sucker, gullible, and totally bamboozled into being a brown-noser. In short, it sucked.
[On top of that, E. was less than pleased that his *outside* plants had died. It's true, I didn't water them. Why? Because he said, and I quote here: "Let them fend for themselves." Which I guess means "Water them please." I understood that statement as meaning "I don't care if they live or die." But whatever.]
To be honest, working with E. worries me. I know that professors are busy, and that I have to be the animating force of my project, etc. And I'm both excited about the dissertation and I tend to be fairly self-motivated. But, E.'s interest seems to come and go on the project. He's also notoriously flaky: I might show up for an appointment and he'll be an hour late. Sometimes he forgets we HAVE appointments. Other times, I show up, and he says "Can you come back some other day? I'm really into something, and I can't wrap my head around anything else right now..." He's also a big fan of "later." As in, "We'll talk about X after.... [insert: your exams/over the summer/after your other exam/next week/etc]." It is less than pleasing.
I've realized: this is no longer acceptable. If he is late, I leave. If he wants to meet another time, I say: "Well, I can give you 30 minutes to wrap up...but really, this is the only reason I came to campus today/I'm busy the rest of the week/I really needed to talk.." Basically: I can take no more bullshit. If I let him, E. will keep me here 10 years just because he forgot to read my damn chapters. [I have another faculty who likes to make me come to her office hours. No more. If she wants to see me - I'll make an appointment. I know this sounds snobby - but I'm not an undergrad anymore. I'm training to be be one of her peers. She can goddamn make an appointment with me.]
It's weird. E. is a really smart guy, a nice guy, and really fun/interesting. He also gives GREAT comments when he's "on." There's also no one else that I think I could *really* pursue my dissertation topic with. So, it's not that I want to/can get out of this. I just have to accept that the "honeymoon" stage is over. E. has a lot going on ... I'm going to have to *demand* my time (and come to rely on my other readers, my peers, and myself). So it goes. I guess this is part of learning "character" or something?
All right, that's enough of that. Enjoy the rest of the weekend. See you mugs later.
]
I'm trying today mostly to keep busy ... keep my mind off things as it were. My wife is doing some work this afternoon, but later we're going to get out of the house. Until then, I think I'll go ahead and update with something inane.
So, anyway, as part of keeping me entertained .. I'll tell you a "woe is me" story. Only, it's sort of interesting.
When I started grad school, I never wanted to be one of *those* grad students. Those of you in higher ed probably know what I mean: that student that brings an extra coffee to seminar for the profesor? That guy who does all the extra work - for free - on a professor's web page (maybe not even a professor he's working for..), "just because?" That woman who picks up all of her advisor's dry cleaning? I never wanted to be *that.* It's not I think I'm so great (or those folks who do that are necessariliy SO bad), or I strut about with so much confidence ... I just wanted to keep something resembling dignity and a modicum of professionalism.
Now, again, I'll gladly be friends with my faculty - share a cup of coffee or whatever. But, really, I don't want to be exploited. So keeping things professional is just A-OK with me.
But - I have been hosed.
As I mentioned before, I spent this summer watching my advisor's place. It was up in Wicker Park - a 40 minute commute (one way) that cost me $4/day round trip (and I went about 3 times a week, for about 12 weeks, which is roughly $144 just on bus fare this summer). The job was pretty gravy - check on the house, send E. the mail every 10 days or so. He said I could use the car, his grill (though I'd have to buy propane), or just hang out at the house (though, it's quite far from the University where I was working and where my wife works) and watch TV (but, I have my own cable thankyousoverymuch). Well, I didn't really DO those things - b/c I had no need of them.
So, E. gets back, and I stop by to drop off his house keys ... and I'm sort of wondering: "Am I going to get paid for this?" He asked me this as a "favor" - and he never mentioned money. In fact, it seemed that maybe he thought just being allowed to use his TV or whateaver was payment enough. But, ya know, it was 3 months of me watering the plants in his kitchen and sending him his mail. It was a forty minute commute; it wasn't like I was picking up the mail for the guy down the hall or only commuting up "north" for four days. This was a serious undertaking, and E. seems like a stand up guy. Surely, being I'm a broke grad student and he summers in Hamptons and lives in Wicker park in a 2-story condo, surely - he would throw me a bone.
The long and short of it: I TOTALLY didn't get paid a red cent. Hell, I didn't even get a FREE MEAL (I figure I'd at least get a good dinner out of it).
Honestly, I was kinda pissed off. I was pissed not only that I got hosed, but that I essentially got *tricked* into being one of *those* grad students. It felt, in some ways, like I was a sucker, gullible, and totally bamboozled into being a brown-noser. In short, it sucked.
[On top of that, E. was less than pleased that his *outside* plants had died. It's true, I didn't water them. Why? Because he said, and I quote here: "Let them fend for themselves." Which I guess means "Water them please." I understood that statement as meaning "I don't care if they live or die." But whatever.]
To be honest, working with E. worries me. I know that professors are busy, and that I have to be the animating force of my project, etc. And I'm both excited about the dissertation and I tend to be fairly self-motivated. But, E.'s interest seems to come and go on the project. He's also notoriously flaky: I might show up for an appointment and he'll be an hour late. Sometimes he forgets we HAVE appointments. Other times, I show up, and he says "Can you come back some other day? I'm really into something, and I can't wrap my head around anything else right now..." He's also a big fan of "later." As in, "We'll talk about X after.... [insert: your exams/over the summer/after your other exam/next week/etc]." It is less than pleasing.
I've realized: this is no longer acceptable. If he is late, I leave. If he wants to meet another time, I say: "Well, I can give you 30 minutes to wrap up...but really, this is the only reason I came to campus today/I'm busy the rest of the week/I really needed to talk.." Basically: I can take no more bullshit. If I let him, E. will keep me here 10 years just because he forgot to read my damn chapters. [I have another faculty who likes to make me come to her office hours. No more. If she wants to see me - I'll make an appointment. I know this sounds snobby - but I'm not an undergrad anymore. I'm training to be be one of her peers. She can goddamn make an appointment with me.]
It's weird. E. is a really smart guy, a nice guy, and really fun/interesting. He also gives GREAT comments when he's "on." There's also no one else that I think I could *really* pursue my dissertation topic with. So, it's not that I want to/can get out of this. I just have to accept that the "honeymoon" stage is over. E. has a lot going on ... I'm going to have to *demand* my time (and come to rely on my other readers, my peers, and myself). So it goes. I guess this is part of learning "character" or something?
All right, that's enough of that. Enjoy the rest of the weekend. See you mugs later.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
in an academic environment, thats what brilliance will do to people who are utlimately, dorks.
well, at least you arent the kind of grad student who wears his distressed leather shoulder bag and blazer elbow patcheslike he's the hippest smartest academic this side of.... i dunno. bert cohler. who puts his feet up and waxes philosophic during ta sessions and hits on poor unsuspecting underclass girls.