Fall is here, and I'm all right with that.
Things are a bit tense over here. I'm an inconsolable worrier. My mom is having some tests done right now, and it's all terribly ambiguous. It could range from nothing to a little something to serious shit. Who knows? She has regular check ups, like a lady her age should, so even "worst case" would hopefully not be that bad and with lots of time to treat her and get her right. But it's not fun. She seems in good spirits, and isn't worrying - or is trying not to. So I'm doing my best to do the same. But it's not always easy. I feel guilty for doing things like buying CDs, thinking about planning a weekend away, picking up concert tickets, or even watching something funny on TV. It seems impossibly glib when Heavy Shit could be going down - even though I know on an intellectual/spiritual level that you gotta appreciate the good times when you have them. And she's a tough lady, surrounded by folks who care for her, with a good attitude and great insurance - so what more can you ask for? But still. Part of what worries me is that while she's in pretty good health - she does have some chronic health issues (that she doesn't always take care of as well as she should). I'm afraid this could complicate things. And in some ways, it also meant that part of me has always been a bit afraid of something bad happening and this feels like it's finally it (though this new thing seems pretty unrelated to those prior issues she's had). This is a bit of a ramble, and I hope it's for nothing ... but I can't stop from saying a prayer, even if I don't think anyone's listening.
Things are a bit tense over here. I'm an inconsolable worrier. My mom is having some tests done right now, and it's all terribly ambiguous. It could range from nothing to a little something to serious shit. Who knows? She has regular check ups, like a lady her age should, so even "worst case" would hopefully not be that bad and with lots of time to treat her and get her right. But it's not fun. She seems in good spirits, and isn't worrying - or is trying not to. So I'm doing my best to do the same. But it's not always easy. I feel guilty for doing things like buying CDs, thinking about planning a weekend away, picking up concert tickets, or even watching something funny on TV. It seems impossibly glib when Heavy Shit could be going down - even though I know on an intellectual/spiritual level that you gotta appreciate the good times when you have them. And she's a tough lady, surrounded by folks who care for her, with a good attitude and great insurance - so what more can you ask for? But still. Part of what worries me is that while she's in pretty good health - she does have some chronic health issues (that she doesn't always take care of as well as she should). I'm afraid this could complicate things. And in some ways, it also meant that part of me has always been a bit afraid of something bad happening and this feels like it's finally it (though this new thing seems pretty unrelated to those prior issues she's had). This is a bit of a ramble, and I hope it's for nothing ... but I can't stop from saying a prayer, even if I don't think anyone's listening.
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Good luck to your mom.