Schooling, part one of three:
Grade 0-4: Home Schooled by my mother. The neighborhood kids avoid me or pick on me in groups because I dont go to school with them. You could say I got started on Individualism early.
Grade 4-6: I start attending the Jewish day school in OKC which indoctrinated us all over and anon in the belief that the best thing we can ever do is go live in Israel.
I repeat forth grade because my teachers think I read too slowly. I still read too slowly but I guarantee Ive read more than those ice-bitches. I was the oldest male in school and a leo. Naturally I quickly became the most popular kid.
For about 3 months during grade 4 the kids in my class studied the tunes to the Torah in an effort to read a section of the Torah in front of the congregation. I subconsciously listened (what the fuck else was I going to do?). One day the teacher notices that Im singing the tunes to myself. Until this point it was assumed that I couldnt learn them because my family hadnt yet gone through the conversion process to become Jewish but upon her hearing me singing the tunes the teacher realizes what a bigot shes been and is thrilled with my ability. I end up reading the Torah with the other kids. Id mark this as the turning point for the acceptance of my family into the Jewish community in OKC.
Later, shortly after 6th grade I began studying for my bar-mitzvahI had only learned the tunes and how to read Hebrew 2 years prior but I learned the entire Friday night and Saturday morning service with a haftorah*1 and maftir*2 portion in 3 months of study with the Rabbi.
1* Three pages of sung Hebrew from the prophets.
2*A paragraph of sung Hebrew from the Bible.
I personally dont remember my bar-mitzvah very clearly. It was undoubtedly the hardest/scariest thing that Ive ever done. I have been told by several people on several occasions, however, that it was done without error. I do remember that afterward the luncheon my mother prepared was quite impressive, though I dont really remember much of what happened there, my adrenaline was still pumping so hard.
It doesnt matter to me so much how well I did on the bar-mitzvah. What I prefer to recall in connection to those events was the story of the debate that took place before I was allowed to do a bar-mitzvah. I was the first of a group of converts familys children who was meant to do a bar-mitzvah, so naturally a debate arose in the synagogue board over the matter. The story goes that when the question was raised the Rabbi in OKC stood up, looked all the board members in the eye, slammed a book on the table and yelled very loudly at them (my real name here) WILL have a bar mitzvah and that was that. Fucking cool story if you ask me.
Grade 7: I first go into public Junior High. I have a very very shitty year. I am not popular in the least.
Grade 8: We move to Memphis. I go to Middle school and have to start calling my teachers miss and sir. I fuck up my back and stop participating in sports. I get really board and start teaching myself TCP/IP and HTML. I also discover that Im good at writing. I start working in the Jewish community and begin my apprenticeship in the art of political control.
Grade 0-4: Home Schooled by my mother. The neighborhood kids avoid me or pick on me in groups because I dont go to school with them. You could say I got started on Individualism early.
Grade 4-6: I start attending the Jewish day school in OKC which indoctrinated us all over and anon in the belief that the best thing we can ever do is go live in Israel.
I repeat forth grade because my teachers think I read too slowly. I still read too slowly but I guarantee Ive read more than those ice-bitches. I was the oldest male in school and a leo. Naturally I quickly became the most popular kid.
For about 3 months during grade 4 the kids in my class studied the tunes to the Torah in an effort to read a section of the Torah in front of the congregation. I subconsciously listened (what the fuck else was I going to do?). One day the teacher notices that Im singing the tunes to myself. Until this point it was assumed that I couldnt learn them because my family hadnt yet gone through the conversion process to become Jewish but upon her hearing me singing the tunes the teacher realizes what a bigot shes been and is thrilled with my ability. I end up reading the Torah with the other kids. Id mark this as the turning point for the acceptance of my family into the Jewish community in OKC.
Later, shortly after 6th grade I began studying for my bar-mitzvahI had only learned the tunes and how to read Hebrew 2 years prior but I learned the entire Friday night and Saturday morning service with a haftorah*1 and maftir*2 portion in 3 months of study with the Rabbi.
1* Three pages of sung Hebrew from the prophets.
2*A paragraph of sung Hebrew from the Bible.
I personally dont remember my bar-mitzvah very clearly. It was undoubtedly the hardest/scariest thing that Ive ever done. I have been told by several people on several occasions, however, that it was done without error. I do remember that afterward the luncheon my mother prepared was quite impressive, though I dont really remember much of what happened there, my adrenaline was still pumping so hard.
It doesnt matter to me so much how well I did on the bar-mitzvah. What I prefer to recall in connection to those events was the story of the debate that took place before I was allowed to do a bar-mitzvah. I was the first of a group of converts familys children who was meant to do a bar-mitzvah, so naturally a debate arose in the synagogue board over the matter. The story goes that when the question was raised the Rabbi in OKC stood up, looked all the board members in the eye, slammed a book on the table and yelled very loudly at them (my real name here) WILL have a bar mitzvah and that was that. Fucking cool story if you ask me.
Grade 7: I first go into public Junior High. I have a very very shitty year. I am not popular in the least.
Grade 8: We move to Memphis. I go to Middle school and have to start calling my teachers miss and sir. I fuck up my back and stop participating in sports. I get really board and start teaching myself TCP/IP and HTML. I also discover that Im good at writing. I start working in the Jewish community and begin my apprenticeship in the art of political control.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dannymanic:
it is exhausting. Id say its worth it, but that wouldnt be very nihilistic now would it?
corvus:
You left out the part about the hot substitute teacher that seduced you in high school.