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Okay, back to biography. I must've picked a good time for this, it seems like no one is really active at the moment anyway.
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This is one of my more favorite stories of my life. It begins when I'm 5 years old. Until that point my entire family and I had been Methodist.

One day your inside playing with your friends who your mom baby-sits and one of your friends - Jenny - runs in crying that your mom just died. Karen and Mindy calm Jenny down and ask her exactly what happened?

"Diana was washing the car and I was talking to her. She lifted her hand up off the car with a wet sponge in it and lightening struck her...then I ran inside.

Your mom walks into the room, all weird acting like she's seen god or something after Jenny has had her fit.

"Jenny, look at me sweetie, I'm okay dear."

"But I saw lightening hit you!"

"It didn't hurt me Jenny, I'm fine. I just should have known better then to wash the car with a thunderstorm on it's way"

A couple of days later I'm sitting in the kitchen drinking tea (I loved tea as a little guy) and my sister is in the room as well, she's so young that she can hardly speak.

My mother turns around and tells us: "Jared and Sara - Santa Claus isn't real.

My reply is :"Okay, I thought so. It doesn't make sense, how does he get everywhere in one night?"

You go Sunday School in Illinois. You go to Sunday School in Saint Louis. You go to Sunday School in South Carolina. The teacher's try to explain original sin to you. The teacher's try to explain heaven to you. Your parent's try to explain Jesus to you. The teacher's try to explain Jesus to you. Your grandparents try to explain Jesus to you. Everyone talks about Jesus.

But you don't see Jesus, except in paintings. You don't see pictures or movies with Jesus in them - except cartoons. You start to suspect that - like Santa - Jesus isn't real. Heaven isn't really the clouds. Your teacher's are stupid and you don't like their tone of voice when they teach you. They don't talk to you like Mom and Dad.

And one day Mom tells us that we aren't going to eat pig anymore at the dinner table. To this day you remember that moment perfectly because it's the last time you tasted pork...16 years ago.

You get up in the morning and talk to Mom. Mom starts teaching you about the devil and god. She starts telling you that most people are captured by the devil. She starts making you listen to radio programs that you don't understand but you know have something to do with what she's talking about. She makes you swear yourself against the devil.

You move to Oklahoma City.

On Friday night Mom and Dad start taking you to 'Messianic Jewish' services. Therein you get taught by your new teacher's in your new Sunday School that the Devil isn't real. You make a mental note that Mommy can be wrong. You already know that Daddy can be.

You go to Messianic services for several months. You go to the homes of the people in the congregation afterward. They talk to Mom and Dad about a lot of things with 'Yoshua' and the Jews. You start hearing these two terms a lot 'Yoshua' and Jews. Meanwhile you get subjected to a lot of tapes of the bible stories. And you start getting home-schooled by Mom. You are now 7.

Mom and Dad stop going to the Messianic Temple. They say that the priest is bad. You've already gathered that he does bad things to women but you don't say anything to Mom and Dad about that.

You go to 'bible study' lessons on Friday nights instead of the Temple. You go with friends who also stopped going to the Temple. And other people from the Temple start following your family around in their cars on Friday nights to see where your going.

You find this all to be a bit weird. But you do what Mom and Dad tell you to do. Your a kid. You want to have fun.

You turn 9. You've met a lot of weird teenagers who've told you a lot about life by this time. Other kids your age you haven't been around in two years. And Mom and Dad decide, with a group of other bible-study members that it is time to 'infiltrate' the synagogue and bring 'Yoshua' (their word for Jesus) to the Jews.

Mom an Dad sit your sister and you down and tell you this. They also tell you that under no circumstances can you talk about Yoshua or where we come from to the Jews, but that we still believe in Yoshua.

All of the sudden, at synagogue, you are around kids of your own age. But they don't really like you. They are all kinda dorky and strange. So you start to try to understand them better and get what they talk about since there is no one else around. And within the year you start going to school with them, at Solomon Schecter Academy in Oklahoma City.

One day Mom and Dad sit Sara and I down and explain to us that we are going to become Jewish now. Remembering the devil thing from before I ask them if we still believe in 'Yoshua' (I love dramatic reactions).

Mom replies: "NO! How can you say that?"

Dad replies: "Ofcource not!!! What's wrong with you? Haven't you been listening to what we've been teaching you?"

I was only 10 years old but my lesson against hypocrisy has always stuck.

After that we went through a long period of being extremely religious Jews, but after my parents divorce they both reverted into being secularized people and married non-Jews.

Sara and I went to live in Israel. Solomon Schecter has a way of indoctrinating a kid to do that.