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Wow, so everyone really liked my old God the Stoner skit.

In that case, here is my incomplete Super Mario Brothers stand up skit.:

"SMB is all about drugs. Any of you out there who blame your parents, your lives, your boy or girlfriends, society or anything else for having decided to trip, stop right now. Let me tell you once and for all: Mario made you do it. I mean, what was with all the mushrooms and fucked up landscapes anyways??? Or how about the very premise of the game? Im a plumber looking to save a princess from a band of fire breathing dinosaurs??? Or how about the lack of coherent plot or consistent genre: was it medieval? Modern? Ancient? Futuristic? It depends on which 'world' you were in.

Every music celebrity today is stuck in a different super Mario brothers world in their head. You remember the really fucked up world in SMB 3 where everything was like 4 times too big? That's the world Moby's stuck in.

But hey, if you still don't believe me that some very acid induced Japanese programmers were shaping our childhoods then go out tonight and download Yoshi's Island to play on that emulator on your computer that you dont have. Get to the level called 'Touch fuzzy, get dizzy' whereupon you inhale a piece of cotton and proceed to trip for the rest of the level. Then tell me SMB wasn't all about acid. Or better yet: when you're stoned at night on the golf course look around and tell me if you dont see similarities to world 3, level 7.

How you ever heard of a single plumber in the city of NY who forgets an address? I haven't. So what's with this guy? He's going on an epic quest, he's dodging fire spiting plants and killing bad guys, he's going through castles and dungeons, he beats a fire-breathing mofo at the end and then what happens: Look Dumbass, the princess is in another castle.

But maybe Mario wasnt actually looking to get to the princess too fast. Maybe he thought those guys he saved on his way there owed him a little favor.

I mean, come on, what kind of 'plumbers' were the SMB's? Honestly, did you ever see them with any tools or plumbing equipment??? I didn't. Ass-invaders if you ask me. You saw the way they road Yoshi! And how about those cute matching outfits? Surgeon Generals Warning: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.

Bowser is the black man of the video gaming world.
And Everyone knows the only reason the Princess got kidnapped so many times is because she WANTED it. She likes her some green cock.

Well I always wondered what she was doing up in Bowsers flying duck thingy at the end of SMW.
You remember how she kinda goes down after throwing a mushroom out...ya know
*Help Me Mario!* goes down
Shes really throwing that mushroom out as a way of saying "FUCKING GO AWAY"

And then there is browsers face too
It gets orgasmic to the point that Bowser can't control the vehicle anymore, and it just bounces along the ground.

The mechakoopas he tosses out are his way of saying "Ok, we're done using these up here, you play with 'em."

and what of those Big Balls he tosses down?
Bowser's anal beads.

Yep, Bowser and Princess started the mile high club.

Now, listen, I know that there are some people who want to kick Mario right in his Dr. Mario pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all these years, bitch!"; But not me. Dont get me wrong: I'm all about voting for the underdog, but what was Luigi thinking? He got two games .ever. and they were both educational.

Listen pal: everyone likes you're shorter, uglier, and fatter brother better; Maybe you should get off your 'teacher' kick and we'd give you more games, cause right now people like Wario better than you, and he's a bad guy. Hell, they even took Bowser over you in Mario RPG because they knew if they gave you a part you'd just be the guy in the RPG who tells someone how to save their game. Face it, you suck.