Thinking all was well in my "current relationship" I had a rude awakening late last night which has caused me a missed night of sleep. So the story goes we had been planning this fun and what I hoped to be a romantic camping trip to this art outdoors event this weekend. Last night she tells me that she's afraid that I am going to be a cling-on the whole time and that she won't be able to enjoy herself. See She's performing in multiple events there and I realize she would be busy but and I would have many other friends there I could spend time with plus I really dig the arts and would enjoy not only seeing her perform but seeing all other events going on that weekend.

I had planned to take my large tent and borrow a bunch of Moroccan lanterns from a friend of mine, which I would light up with some candles that I have purchased. I have flowers and a few gorgeous fabrics to decorate the inside of the tent with and now it looks like I would be an asshole showing up there after she invited me to go. Like I am going to be a distraction for her and force her to be with me the entire weekend.

Also because of her knowledge of my previous relationship she has her doubts that we are well suited for each other. Her concerns come after an awesome three weeks together with fabulous nights of what seemed to be undivided raw passion. I don't know what to do or think now... I really dig this girl and I have been so honest and open to her trying to let her know that my interest in her is honest and not rooted in some other "master plan".

Because of her local celebrate she's had issues with guys trying to use her to get a bit of fame themselves. I am so not interested in fame is not even funny. I mean I have worked for some major films in the past and had offers to sign with casting agencies. I never wanted to be famous and only do the movie bit because I love my car and I enjoy having it used as a prop in movies while watching what goes on behind the silver screen.

How do you express to some one that your intentions are good when they have their doubts and won't take your word for what it is worth. The conversation ended last night with, "well I guess I will talk to you later when I have the time to discuss this further". Why not just say good bye, why do you have to leave me hanging like this. This hurts more than just ending it.... You tell me how awesome I am in one breath, that I am a "keeper" in the next.... and then change the dial to tell me your afraid that things are going to fast.

I am soooo confused right now! What the fuck is a guy to do.... being a nice guy, honest and caring doesn't seem to be worth much anymore. This just fucking sucks!