really what i need, is some sleep... but that's boring.
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this may sound lame, but i really need to get laid.
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muse25:
lol...you sound like me. I may have stated that in 10 of my journals.... 
spanoonoos:
who doesn't?! i am so ready to be popped it ain't even funny. it's a dangerous time, but i am tying to enjoy it.
OOoeeeooOOOo
it ain't like i'm off to see the wizard. oh no, not like that at all.
it ain't like i'm off to see the wizard. oh no, not like that at all.
spanoonoos:
no no no. i've always thought of you as more off like prom dress & off your rocker 
From: me, To; Me, 3:33 am (4 hours ago)
RE: FUCK YOU
i'm still in very real danger i think. the dark days seem behind me,
but now i see all that my eyes passed by. I see the time i've lost,
and i don't know how to amend that loss. The goals are all gone now,
all but the memory of how it was...
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RE: FUCK YOU
i'm still in very real danger i think. the dark days seem behind me,
but now i see all that my eyes passed by. I see the time i've lost,
and i don't know how to amend that loss. The goals are all gone now,
all but the memory of how it was...
Read More
spanoonoos:
you're right i do like it. the dogs need a new daddy. wanna be my 2nd husband?
but seriously folks...if you don't like yourself then change. the only thing we have control over is ourselves. people can change and do daily, no matter how slightly it may be.
& it's never too late to go back to school if that's what you really want to do. i was good friends with a man that went back to finish college when he was about 31. he jumped right in to jr college w/ us 18 yr olds. he & i ended up great friends & even graduated from a big school together.
myself, i often wish that i hadn't gone to school. i wish i would have jumped right into trying to be an actor before school took the desire out of me. but it's ok, i learned many valuable things during this time, so it definitely wasn't wasted. you just have to live our life that's all.
to you.
but seriously folks...if you don't like yourself then change. the only thing we have control over is ourselves. people can change and do daily, no matter how slightly it may be.
& it's never too late to go back to school if that's what you really want to do. i was good friends with a man that went back to finish college when he was about 31. he jumped right in to jr college w/ us 18 yr olds. he & i ended up great friends & even graduated from a big school together.
myself, i often wish that i hadn't gone to school. i wish i would have jumped right into trying to be an actor before school took the desire out of me. but it's ok, i learned many valuable things during this time, so it definitely wasn't wasted. you just have to live our life that's all.
to you. I am a weirdo.
and you like it, you all like it a lot.
and you like it, you all like it a lot.
kay:
With extra helpings.
~cheers
~cheers
spanoonoos:
no, sorry, weirdo doesn't do it for me. it's the smart expressive torturred angst ridden part that roped me in. it reminds me of simpler yet more complicated times that i hold very dear.
it reminds me of simpler yet more complicated times that i hold very dear. insert tab A into slot B, fold, insert into slot C.
I less and less feel the need to identify. I drank but a little tonight, but still flt the need to be sick, sick of the habit, sick of the need, sick of the desires. Sicpowered indeed. the fuel that fills me, sickens me, and even if i expel it, i still remain in...
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I less and less feel the need to identify. I drank but a little tonight, but still flt the need to be sick, sick of the habit, sick of the need, sick of the desires. Sicpowered indeed. the fuel that fills me, sickens me, and even if i expel it, i still remain in...
Read More
spanoonoos:
self medication can be invaluable, but it is wise to know when to say when. 
good for you for not blaming the drink. i hate it when people use drugs & alchohol as an excuse for their behavior for these things usually just bring out existing personality flaws or magnify whatever you are already feeling. that's why when planning to trip balls, 1 must make sure that there are no bad vibes in the area for things will surely end in tears. 
you can change if you decide to & take decisive action. any decision worth being made can be made in 7 breathes.
good for you for not blaming the drink. i hate it when people use drugs & alchohol as an excuse for their behavior for these things usually just bring out existing personality flaws or magnify whatever you are already feeling. that's why when planning to trip balls, 1 must make sure that there are no bad vibes in the area for things will surely end in tears.
you can change if you decide to & take decisive action. any decision worth being made can be made in 7 breathes.
kay:
It does make sense. I'm in the same place in a good many ways. Well and truly.
I did get some rest, but no where what I needed. How about you?
~cheers
I did get some rest, but no where what I needed. How about you?
~cheers
in the long run, maybe it'll all work out.
or not.
Nothing too exciting these days. The vehicle is officially crapped out. Kaput, dead battery i think. plus i just need to set it on fire and laugh, watching it burn all halloween orange and chimney red, to quote Tom.
Fuck, i feel like shit. suck shit, i feel bad. i've had a good couple...
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or not.
Nothing too exciting these days. The vehicle is officially crapped out. Kaput, dead battery i think. plus i just need to set it on fire and laugh, watching it burn all halloween orange and chimney red, to quote Tom.
Fuck, i feel like shit. suck shit, i feel bad. i've had a good couple...
Read More
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spanoonoos:
ooo, definitely get those back before you give hte speach cuz some bitches is crazy...ya gotta watch it with the prized personal possessions. that's how i lost my copy of the jungle book: loaning it to someone that i ending up not wanting to speak to again.
kay:
*smooch*
~cheers
~cheers
i like my life. anybody want a slice?
ciel:
mwhahaha! yes then i will skip and maybe smile sweetly!
spanoonoos:
i'll have mine warmed up & a la mode please
fguck fuck fuckin fuck. shit hell fuck ass.
I feel outstanding. really.
no. really.
I feel outstanding. really.
no. really.
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spanoonoos:
or as my mother says, "fuck a fucking duck."
hope this helps if just ever so slightly
hope this helps if just ever so slightly
spanoonoos:
that's what i was going for. i was trying to get the devil out of your body with my virtual reality, "Satan be gone." did it work?
the following was brought to you by my new job. I wrote every last stinking word of it while getting paid. of course the other side of that coin is i'm probably doing irreparable harm to my brain through sleep deprivation. can you hear it... that .... it's my frontal lobes, crying out in agony, as they deflate and shrink to the sound of my...
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spanoonoos:
thanks. i needed ar reality check. the consumer of resources keeps insisting that i don't love him any more, which is simply not true. but what is true is that i love myself enough to not put up with his shit any more. 
i know what you mean about the cali assumptions. i've had people use this an an excuse to tell me every freaky thing about themselves. "you're from california, you understand." (um...acutally, no, i don't understand why there is a midget having anal sex with a dead hooker in your car.)
yes, yes, enlighten the rest of the country with your delicious angst. i feel ike i'm soaking in it.
i know what you mean about the cali assumptions. i've had people use this an an excuse to tell me every freaky thing about themselves. "you're from california, you understand." (um...acutally, no, i don't understand why there is a midget having anal sex with a dead hooker in your car.)
yes, yes, enlighten the rest of the country with your delicious angst. i feel ike i'm soaking in it.
spanoonoos:
yes, but in a car?! who does that any more?
mmmmmmmmmm water jets make everything so much better. i gotta use em while i got em. that is DEFINITELY 1 of the things about this house i will miss! good alone or with a a friend.