sicpowered

so i don't know the reasons, the why's or where fors. i can only half imagine the hows and never was too good with the whens. its all just slipping into the blur of "Life". what may have gone wrong, right now i don't even know.

every day i'm writing these journals, setting forth a record, an opinion, a log. and i set other thoughts to another place, a paper journal, a real world aspect of my minds ramblings. and everyday i write new stories all rich and filled with vibrance. or rather, everyday i think these things out. in my head the words flow. it is a rare day when i actually put it all down, let it all out.

these are some of the things that make me feel lame.

on a somewhat unrelated note: i am starting to think this job may have been fun while it lasted. as in, i think perhaps it is not so good for me. i'm starting to feel like everything is going to turn into a train wreck. i'm riding everything so well, just hanging on in any event, and i can't remember how to get into the driver's seat to at least take a peek at the instruments. i also have this sneaking, ghostlike apparition of a hunch, that everyone feels this way, and we are all just trying to fool ourselves enough so no one else notices how little we have it all under control.

just a hunch.