more that i could know.
on my may home from the bar from work, i was singing to myself, headphones in, following my normal path through a playground, when i look up between phrases into the smiling faces of two native kids wrapped in embrace. i didn't even break stride, didn't falter in my song. inasmuchas my voice falters on it's own enough these days. no reason to stop myself.
a voice can be such a powerful thing, so captivating, so interesting, so unique. like a face, like lips, like a curve of collarbones. a simple sweep of sound, to never be recaptured. Like every good thing in my life, i have a love hate relationship with my voice. oft i feel as though i don't hear it enough, i'm not listening. it's more to me than i know. it's been the difference between love and solitude more than once, more than was right. i try so hard sometimes to sound out the thoughts broiling within, and only curses and half truths spill forth. a voice, the right voice has sent me into all manner of confusion, of every sense brought alive, mind spinning at the blissful, blessed sound. how valued it is to hear the voice of a lover, of a love. at my most vulnerable, i always seem get that voice that will make the difference.
punch a hole in my life. please. can i get a change, a new venue, and perhaps a new cast of characters. Don't worry, nothing is broken here. nothing is worthless. all the basics are covered. i have nothing to complain about. everything sees fine.
everything is just not quite right.
so i'll spill voiceless words here, spill what thoughts i have at the moment. how i feel her to be so right, and so fear her so. how i know her to be so wrong, yet so familiar. no future in either heart. no future here, or where i've been. it's the life i've chosen however and for that i can only thank myself.
**************
sometimes i even hurt myself with entries like ^^ that. my mood was unaffected by even the combined powers of belgian milk chocolate and coffee, it was this that finally put a smile on my face again. happy friday everyone.
on my may home from the bar from work, i was singing to myself, headphones in, following my normal path through a playground, when i look up between phrases into the smiling faces of two native kids wrapped in embrace. i didn't even break stride, didn't falter in my song. inasmuchas my voice falters on it's own enough these days. no reason to stop myself.
a voice can be such a powerful thing, so captivating, so interesting, so unique. like a face, like lips, like a curve of collarbones. a simple sweep of sound, to never be recaptured. Like every good thing in my life, i have a love hate relationship with my voice. oft i feel as though i don't hear it enough, i'm not listening. it's more to me than i know. it's been the difference between love and solitude more than once, more than was right. i try so hard sometimes to sound out the thoughts broiling within, and only curses and half truths spill forth. a voice, the right voice has sent me into all manner of confusion, of every sense brought alive, mind spinning at the blissful, blessed sound. how valued it is to hear the voice of a lover, of a love. at my most vulnerable, i always seem get that voice that will make the difference.
punch a hole in my life. please. can i get a change, a new venue, and perhaps a new cast of characters. Don't worry, nothing is broken here. nothing is worthless. all the basics are covered. i have nothing to complain about. everything sees fine.
everything is just not quite right.
so i'll spill voiceless words here, spill what thoughts i have at the moment. how i feel her to be so right, and so fear her so. how i know her to be so wrong, yet so familiar. no future in either heart. no future here, or where i've been. it's the life i've chosen however and for that i can only thank myself.
**************
sometimes i even hurt myself with entries like ^^ that. my mood was unaffected by even the combined powers of belgian milk chocolate and coffee, it was this that finally put a smile on my face again. happy friday everyone.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
I'm about to go back to sleep until the wee hours when my internet boyfriend will prolly call me drunk.
And oh yeah, that was just a pic I took this morning when I was kicking myself for doing something dumb. But shortly after I found out it wasn't as big a deal as I thought.