yeah, now that i'm back, here, where i wanted so much to be away from, now that i'm here, back where i most wanted to hold close to, now that i'm here, i'm not so sure what comes next.

maybe i start with the little things. maybe i start here. on SG, how cliche and lame. maybe i've already started, without knowing what the game plan is. without knowing what i should be doing. go me, just like always, i am not as much in charge as i'm holding on to my own poor decision making like a bleeding man holds onto his racing horse. hmm....

it seems drinking and bad poetic imagery goes hand in hand. i'll not edit out the gratuitous use of lame cowboy imagery there... just for the sake of posterity. besides none of that is the point.

the point is, tonight, i was surrounded by people who love and like me. and what can be wrong with that. my only longing is a special thing, only satiated by a specific person, one that is some distance from me. being so removed, i can only accept what is, and not get lost in what could be.

ok. maybe next entry, i wont have had slightly too much to drink, and i'll name some specifics down, some details that might matter rather than the vague stylings of a half drunk master of verbal evasions. anyway.... love those you love, lest they cease to understand that you hold them dear. there is no worse a fate .... mostly.