in the long run, maybe it'll all work out.
or not.
Nothing too exciting these days. The vehicle is officially crapped out. Kaput, dead battery i think. plus i just need to set it on fire and laugh, watching it burn all halloween orange and chimney red, to quote Tom.
Fuck, i feel like shit. suck shit, i feel bad. i've had a good couple...
Read More
or not.
Nothing too exciting these days. The vehicle is officially crapped out. Kaput, dead battery i think. plus i just need to set it on fire and laugh, watching it burn all halloween orange and chimney red, to quote Tom.
Fuck, i feel like shit. suck shit, i feel bad. i've had a good couple...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
i like my life. anybody want a slice?
ciel:
mwhahaha! yes then i will skip and maybe smile sweetly!
spanoonoos:
i'll have mine warmed up & a la mode please
fguck fuck fuckin fuck. shit hell fuck ass.
I feel outstanding. really.
no. really.
I feel outstanding. really.
no. really.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
spanoonoos:
or as my mother says, "fuck a fucking duck."
hope this helps if just ever so slightly
hope this helps if just ever so slightly
spanoonoos:
that's what i was going for. i was trying to get the devil out of your body with my virtual reality, "Satan be gone." did it work?
the following was brought to you by my new job. I wrote every last stinking word of it while getting paid. of course the other side of that coin is i'm probably doing irreparable harm to my brain through sleep deprivation. can you hear it... that .... it's my frontal lobes, crying out in agony, as they deflate and shrink to the sound of my...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
spanoonoos:
thanks. i needed ar reality check. the consumer of resources keeps insisting that i don't love him any more, which is simply not true. but what is true is that i love myself enough to not put up with his shit any more. 
i know what you mean about the cali assumptions. i've had people use this an an excuse to tell me every freaky thing about themselves. "you're from california, you understand." (um...acutally, no, i don't understand why there is a midget having anal sex with a dead hooker in your car.)
yes, yes, enlighten the rest of the country with your delicious angst. i feel ike i'm soaking in it.
i know what you mean about the cali assumptions. i've had people use this an an excuse to tell me every freaky thing about themselves. "you're from california, you understand." (um...acutally, no, i don't understand why there is a midget having anal sex with a dead hooker in your car.)
yes, yes, enlighten the rest of the country with your delicious angst. i feel ike i'm soaking in it.
spanoonoos:
yes, but in a car?! who does that any more? 
a few quick verbal snapshots:
On my walk home i purposefully maneuvered into the street and not on the sidewalk. Some sort of dedication to living outside the box, or something.
Even wearing nice clothes, complete with tie, i make people vaguely uncomfortable. I think i might be too calm, too quiet.
the sun is a glorious blazing yellow ball in the sky already several...
Read More
On my walk home i purposefully maneuvered into the street and not on the sidewalk. Some sort of dedication to living outside the box, or something.
Even wearing nice clothes, complete with tie, i make people vaguely uncomfortable. I think i might be too calm, too quiet.
the sun is a glorious blazing yellow ball in the sky already several...
Read More
kay:
Did you see a movie today?
~cheers
~cheers
spanoonoos:
i drive my moving headphones with music blaring. i have to turn it up loud to hear it over the damn truck engine, but i love my beat up 73 ford f250 pickup. but it is such s gas hog i know this relationship can't last much longer. 
i love my shit kickin truck...
i've taken to not wearing a bra when working around the house. great for my comfort, not so good for the men @ jerry's & home depot.
i think this checker at costco is seriously flirting with me & i've been flirting back. but she's a girl & i've heard bad things about them.
i'm trying to read zen & the art of motorcycle maintenance & just can't get into it right now. i'm all about escapism, but this is not fitting the bill.
i watched troy last night. what HUGE waste of time. they shouldn't have bothered with the story & just had 3 hours of brad pit not talking with his off.
to you my little nut job
i love my shit kickin truck...
i've taken to not wearing a bra when working around the house. great for my comfort, not so good for the men @ jerry's & home depot.
i think this checker at costco is seriously flirting with me & i've been flirting back. but she's a girl & i've heard bad things about them.
i'm trying to read zen & the art of motorcycle maintenance & just can't get into it right now. i'm all about escapism, but this is not fitting the bill.
i watched troy last night. what HUGE waste of time. they shouldn't have bothered with the story & just had 3 hours of brad pit not talking with his off.
to you my little nut jobfour pistols and a shotgun. a field so littered with the random detritus of gunplay as to loose sight of the brown of the earth. shattered trees in the background, twisted metal riddled sliced and deformed with the vented aggressions of many. clay pigeons safety orange, useless and shattered in pieces among the ripped an torn coffee cans, computers, sheet metal, and propane tanks. phone...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kay:
I love shooting.
~cheers
~cheers
spanoonoos:
i sensed that you enjoy wallowing in your despair, but couldn't think of a nice sounding way to say that...
i know, right?! the tub is right next to the front door & i know sometimes i am VERY loud. i often wonder what the neighbors hear, but they are all very friendly so whatever it is they must like it. i could try to keep a low profile, but what in the hell is a house for anyway if you can't be as loud as you want to be during sex?! something my ex never really understood. so sad for him...
i know, right?! the tub is right next to the front door & i know sometimes i am VERY loud. i often wonder what the neighbors hear, but they are all very friendly so whatever it is they must like it.
i could try to keep a low profile, but what in the hell is a house for anyway if you can't be as loud as you want to be during sex?! something my ex never really understood. so sad for him... Well, my life ain't getting any cleaner this way. Not sure when i'm supposed to take time for responsibilities other than work, and working 2 jobs has yet to prove it's benefits. Technically, it's been a detriment so far.I have no idea what the F is going on.
I catch myself planning international vacations, with large dollar price tags, like i'd rather go somewhere great...
Read More
I catch myself planning international vacations, with large dollar price tags, like i'd rather go somewhere great...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kay:
*holds up virtual panties* Oh. Those are not pants...my bad.
~cheers
~cheers
noir:
Fuck. Please repost that.
blech... i ate too much.
i am a mediocre cook.
and i am tired.
have a nice day, i'm going to go purge for awhile.
i am a mediocre cook.
and i am tired.
have a nice day, i'm going to go purge for awhile.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
kay:
Purge for me too. I need to build up some stomach muscles.
~cheers
~cheers
kay:
Awww. he he.
~cheers
~cheers
here is a easy selection of a recent chat , and a good example of how little sense we make to the outside world. i'm talking with my best friend, whom i have know my whole life. we speak in code.
7:34 AM
ME:hey i'm big in japan
7:35 AM
A: i am a legon in my spare time
ME:werd
ME:gotta get behind the mule...
Read More
7:34 AM
ME:hey i'm big in japan
7:35 AM
A: i am a legon in my spare time
ME:werd
ME:gotta get behind the mule...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kay:
*laughter*
~cheers
~cheers
spanoonoos:
& 1 day tonto said, "kiss my ass i bought a boat i'm goin' out to sea."
boy, u know u cra-zzzz
no seafood of any kind?! not even alaskan halibut? your
must be very disappointed...
nyc has made lots of interesting things that are very worthy of being put in one's mouth: pizza, garlic knots, fusion cooking & the $12 martini. to name a few. mmmmmmmmm $12 martinis ...................
boy, u know u cra-zzzz
no seafood of any kind?! not even alaskan halibut? your
must be very disappointed...
nyc has made lots of interesting things that are very worthy of being put in one's mouth: pizza, garlic knots, fusion cooking & the $12 martini. to name a few. mmmmmmmmm $12 martinis ...................
in brief:
working these night shifts seems to have affected a change in my general attitude. I kinda don't really care for other people's bullshit, and now, i'm even less likely to blink at it much less deal with it.
just because someone is trying to hand you a bag of shit, doesn't mean you have to take it.
Not that this is actually happening,...
Read More
working these night shifts seems to have affected a change in my general attitude. I kinda don't really care for other people's bullshit, and now, i'm even less likely to blink at it much less deal with it.
just because someone is trying to hand you a bag of shit, doesn't mean you have to take it.
Not that this is actually happening,...
Read More
kay:
I would recommend taking the bag, and then breaking it over their head. Or taking the bag, waiting until dark, putting it on their doorstep and lighting it on fire.
Just a thought.
~cheers
Just a thought.
~cheers
spanoonoos:
did you ever care for other people's bullshit? i have a very low tolerance for it myself & the older i get, the less tolerant i am. what i find surpising is how many people actually believe their own crap.
not that i am underestimating the power of sleep deprivation or disrupted sleep patterns... these can actually alter one's personality.
wait a minute...isn't it always about fish with you?
not that i am underestimating the power of sleep deprivation or disrupted sleep patterns... these can actually alter one's personality.
wait a minute...isn't it always about fish with you?
it's like a 100lb Sturgeon on a 20lb test
fish on.
fish on.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ciel:
well, maybe not, but I think the cake might help swing for the opposition!
kay:
Hell so would I!!!
~cheers
~cheers
...cont'd
How easy it is to suffer. To find a pattern, a safe haven of decisions that allow one unpleasantness to be endured over a perceived or manufactured pain. Why go out and get a new lover (job, house, life), when the old one was such a disappointment. I know the answer, but many see it only as an opportunity for a new set of...
Read More
How easy it is to suffer. To find a pattern, a safe haven of decisions that allow one unpleasantness to be endured over a perceived or manufactured pain. Why go out and get a new lover (job, house, life), when the old one was such a disappointment. I know the answer, but many see it only as an opportunity for a new set of...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
spanoonoos:
well, it's like the old addage says, "the hell we know is better than the hell we don't know..." life is high risk high yield: it could turn out great or terrible, but fear holds us back. the key is to find the balance between being open for the new experience & not letting your heart get ripped out by every jackass that wants to mess with yo' stuff. some people give it away too freely & then wonder why they are constantly dissappointed.
i think i am the bad guy right now, but i am justified in my cause...
i am trying to get rid of the bad things that bring no good: jealousy, fear, resentment, pining, hurt vanity, injured pride, & general grudge holding. all things i held onto back when i was single on the 1st time around. i don't want to be that person again.
i love reading my old journals! i just found some going back to jr. high. it can be fun to slog thru some old angst once you are not in it.
sound like those can really kick ass!
i think i am the bad guy right now, but i am justified in my cause...
i am trying to get rid of the bad things that bring no good: jealousy, fear, resentment, pining, hurt vanity, injured pride, & general grudge holding. all things i held onto back when i was single on the 1st time around. i don't want to be that person again.
i love reading my old journals! i just found some going back to jr. high. it can be fun to slog thru some old angst once you are not in it.
sound like those
can really kick ass!
fi_fi:
my thoughts exactly.......
my thoughts exactly.......
~cheers