sicmonte

good and bad...

good....I sold my van...finally!!1

bad.........

Since mid december I have been seeing this gal named Shannon. This gal is my soul mate...I know she is. We met at a bowling alley and have been in-seperable ever since. All was going well.... Shannon has a very bad past. She was/is into drugs..mostlly heroin and coke. She has been in and out of jail and recovery houses numerous times...only to land back into using again. When I met her she was "running away" from her life up in Philly to live in Maryland. She was doing great........until she had to move back up there to turn herself in...for violatin her parole/probation (skipping states will do that!!!). This was May 1st....had a great weekend together...and I helped her move into a new recovery house...all seemed to go well. We were gonna make it!!

That is until a couple weeks ago...pretty much right after she moved in up there. We have been talking every night...but I knew something was up. I told her that she needed to consentrate all her energy on the task at hand and just work and go to meetings. It seemed to good to be true.....and it was.

I went up there today to see her. She wasnt there...wasnt at work...was no where to be found. She hasnt been home or at work for just about 2 days now. Apparentlly she has been lying to me the whole time...which I pretty much new anyways. So I went home with an empty feeling inside. I knew the moment I dropped her off May 1st up there...that I would never physically see her again. Sure we could talk...but now she sint even taking my calls...b/c she is at some house getting high. What a terrible loss. Such a sweet girl...such a beautifull girl...what a potential...all gone b/c of a stupid addiction...a chemical dependancy....all gone.

I knew this would happen. So did she pretty much. I tried to move on once already....but it didnt work out. Sorry. Even though I know that Shannon and I are over...I still want to see her and just put my cloak of protection over her...and show her that life is worth it...to not give in...to see that she is loved by a person that would do anything for her. I would..and I already have. There is alot more to this story...but its not easy to type.

So...for those of you who read this...do me this one favor. Whoever you love...or whatever you love...take care of it. Show it every day what it means to you. Love it with all your heart. I did this for Shannon...but she has to help herself now...


I love you babydoll