***Beware, big emo style rant coming up***
For fucks sake!!! I have truly had enough of all this shit with my step "father". How dare he treat me the way he does. He just puts me down all the time, makes these sly little comments to me and others about how my college course seems like a cop out, that im hardly ever in, that this course and place at the uni in san fran isn't going to work out, how im a now a "mature" student (imnot even 22 yet fuck off!) and should be moving on with my life.
Oh believe me i will, and it be bloody miles away from you you complete fuckin cunt!!!!!
It happened again before he and my mom just went out. Something that seems minor and just parents having a "go" like they do. Brushed it off. The second they walk out the door and i can't stop the tears coming. Im so so pissed off at myself too as i have always said i'll never allow him to make me cry. He's not worthy of that emotion of me but you can really only take so much.
Im terrified im gonna slip back into the depressive state i was in last time something like this happened. It was so hard to get out of and was so close to ending badly.
I just don't know what to do now.
I know i should tell someone my real feelings over this but i don't want to cause any grief in this family, we've had more than our share this last year. i love my mom to pieces and i never want to hurt her but know this would knock her and i can't do it to her.
I just want to get away from it all, im not myself anymore.
The notion of revenge is a sweet one though.
For fucks sake!!! I have truly had enough of all this shit with my step "father". How dare he treat me the way he does. He just puts me down all the time, makes these sly little comments to me and others about how my college course seems like a cop out, that im hardly ever in, that this course and place at the uni in san fran isn't going to work out, how im a now a "mature" student (imnot even 22 yet fuck off!) and should be moving on with my life.
Oh believe me i will, and it be bloody miles away from you you complete fuckin cunt!!!!!
It happened again before he and my mom just went out. Something that seems minor and just parents having a "go" like they do. Brushed it off. The second they walk out the door and i can't stop the tears coming. Im so so pissed off at myself too as i have always said i'll never allow him to make me cry. He's not worthy of that emotion of me but you can really only take so much.
Im terrified im gonna slip back into the depressive state i was in last time something like this happened. It was so hard to get out of and was so close to ending badly.
I just don't know what to do now.
I know i should tell someone my real feelings over this but i don't want to cause any grief in this family, we've had more than our share this last year. i love my mom to pieces and i never want to hurt her but know this would knock her and i can't do it to her.
I just want to get away from it all, im not myself anymore.
The notion of revenge is a sweet one though.