The Merits of Elementary
School Dodgeball in a
Modern, Violent, and Confused
Society
An Observation
By Robert Hughes
It was recently my misfortune to have to spend some time in a local highschool as part of a job i was doing for a friends Sound and Lighting company... and not as part of some predatory hobby of mine. I was lighting director for this preticular show which had rented the use of this highschool's rather spacious and modern auditorium. In this time of highschool shootings and terrorism, i was forced wait for some time in the main office while the vailidity of my presence there was confirmed and and escort to the auditorium was provided. While there, i was privy to a conversation being undertaken by members of the faculty. Despite being slightly distracted by the parade of female members of the student body, i was able to discern the teachers were in a heated debate about removing an age old right of passage from the elementary physical education curiculum, dodgeball. We've all played it im sure, unless you were one of the weezy fat kids who never joined in phys ed, and im sure most of enjoyed it and took from it valuable lessons of life and competition. Now the powers that be in the educational system... namely those fat weezy kids and the ones who were always picked last and cried about it, want to take this age old staple of western society out of our schools. The thought being, it hurts the children emotionally when they are eliminated and makes them feel bad, of course they dont really care about the physical damage getting pegged an cause. Further more, dodgeball may not be the only sport to fall given this trend, as any game or sport where someone loses in endangered, and with it, the spirit of competition and the drive to be the best that makes our society the best on the planet. The lessons learned thru such sports not only instill a drive to excell in children, but also teaches valuable lessons other then competition and fair play, they may ingrain the very instincts the youth of today may very well need to survive to adulthood. The following is a case comparrision to illustrate the importance and validty of keeping dodgeball as an integratable part of educating the next generation to survive what is the most prevalent danger facing them, Highschool shooting scenarios.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
Keep moving and dont ever run in a straight line
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
The majority of fatalities in most highschool shootings were due to lack of mobility. Most were shot hiding behing desks, under tables, or hudled in corners crying. A moving target is harder to hit, however, one that moves in a straight line at a constant speed is not impossbible to hit. The human brain is a great computer of deflection shooting calulations enabling a person semi profiecient in the use of firearms to lead a student just enough to pick them off. Less leading is needed for fat, retarded, female, or very young students.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
Teamwork is essential, only thru team work can one triumph over an opposing group
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
Teamwork is essential as it gives the shooter more people to shoot at. The simple law of probability is in ones favor here. With more people around you, someone else is more likely to take the hit. However, like in dodgeball, large groups tend to draw more fire, so its important the group stay well spaced and kept moving. The group is also well motivated to move as fast as possible, as stragglers are often picked off more easily then others. Remember, only thru teamwork can the individual excell, or in this case, survive by using his team mates as sheilds, or hiding under their bodies in worse case scenarios
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
If not a skilled player, avoid proximity to best members of your team, as they are likely targets.
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
It is well documented in highschool popularity tends to go to those both attractive and physically fit, those people who no doubt excelled in the sport of dodgeball went on to become the upper echelon of highschool society. These very same people also tend to draw as much hatred as they do adoration from their classmates, and therefor draw the most incoming fire from other classmates. Close proximity to one of these people could result in catching fire ment for someone else, it is best to avoid these highrisk people. Besides, if they are killed, the social status of those who survive should increase slightly with each popular student killed.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
When a skilled player, the likelyhood of you being singled out for early elimination by your opponent increases dramatically. It is therefor adviseable to seek the cover and support of your team mates to reduce the chanes of being hit.
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
As most highschool shootings are perpetrated by students who are fairly alienated and outcast, they tend to seek out the social elite to vent their own feelings of self loathing and hatred on. The more popular members of the student body would be well advised to seek refuge behind those very same sort of people who seek to take their lives. Most noteably would be members of the chess team, school news paper staff, students wearing black trench coats, or preferably fat kids as they tend to aborb much incoming fire and restrict the field of fire considerably.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
A good offense is the best defense
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
The very nature of highschool shootings doesnt really afford the targets of the attack many options when it comes to offense. This by no means should deter taking offensive action should the opportunity arise. The assailents will be highly emotional and very focused on what they are doing. The phyisical attributes of said attackers is also not consistant with that of a gifted athlete. If they were in any way intelligent or physically gifted, chances are they would be on the other side of the gunfire. The resulting combination of intense focus and emotion, compounded by lacking physical attributes should leave them vulnerable to a counter attack should the chance arise. Anything from blunt force trauma to the head with a chair or something as simple as a tackle should afford a chance to disarm the gunman.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
Know your opponent, identify possible threats before the whistle blows.
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
It is best to be aware of potential threats well before they present themselves as threats. In addition, a familiarity with the surroundings also lends itself towards survival. Be conscious of those who have been bullied, single out for ridicule, or repeatedly humiliated infront of others as these tend to be primary motivators for such violent lunch room outbreaks. Having an eye on them and knowing where they are in relation to potential targets might be the only deciding factor in survival.
In summary, the continued presence of dodgeball in American Elementary schools is of the utmost importance. Given the prevelance of shootings in Highschools in this age of media exposure and copycat crimes the importance of maintaining some level of survival training at an earlier age must be maintained and expanded, no eliminated. Removing dodgeball from grammar schools for the sake of saving a few children's hurt feelings will deprive them of the valuable instincts they will gain as a result of playing. To date, a relatively small percentage of students out of the total school population have fallen to the guns of disgruntled co-eds. This number of dead and wounded will sky rocket in the years to come as predator/victim games are taken out of schools where children are supposed to be learning how to survive in the world. The simple truth is, children learn their fight or flight reflexes at an early age, and it is obviously more preferable that they learn this instinct in a game where a bruised ego is the only consequence. In conclusion, being pegged with a red ball hurts the body and emotions alot less than being pegged by a .30 calibre high velocity bullet.
School Dodgeball in a
Modern, Violent, and Confused
Society
An Observation
By Robert Hughes
It was recently my misfortune to have to spend some time in a local highschool as part of a job i was doing for a friends Sound and Lighting company... and not as part of some predatory hobby of mine. I was lighting director for this preticular show which had rented the use of this highschool's rather spacious and modern auditorium. In this time of highschool shootings and terrorism, i was forced wait for some time in the main office while the vailidity of my presence there was confirmed and and escort to the auditorium was provided. While there, i was privy to a conversation being undertaken by members of the faculty. Despite being slightly distracted by the parade of female members of the student body, i was able to discern the teachers were in a heated debate about removing an age old right of passage from the elementary physical education curiculum, dodgeball. We've all played it im sure, unless you were one of the weezy fat kids who never joined in phys ed, and im sure most of enjoyed it and took from it valuable lessons of life and competition. Now the powers that be in the educational system... namely those fat weezy kids and the ones who were always picked last and cried about it, want to take this age old staple of western society out of our schools. The thought being, it hurts the children emotionally when they are eliminated and makes them feel bad, of course they dont really care about the physical damage getting pegged an cause. Further more, dodgeball may not be the only sport to fall given this trend, as any game or sport where someone loses in endangered, and with it, the spirit of competition and the drive to be the best that makes our society the best on the planet. The lessons learned thru such sports not only instill a drive to excell in children, but also teaches valuable lessons other then competition and fair play, they may ingrain the very instincts the youth of today may very well need to survive to adulthood. The following is a case comparrision to illustrate the importance and validty of keeping dodgeball as an integratable part of educating the next generation to survive what is the most prevalent danger facing them, Highschool shooting scenarios.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
Keep moving and dont ever run in a straight line
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
The majority of fatalities in most highschool shootings were due to lack of mobility. Most were shot hiding behing desks, under tables, or hudled in corners crying. A moving target is harder to hit, however, one that moves in a straight line at a constant speed is not impossbible to hit. The human brain is a great computer of deflection shooting calulations enabling a person semi profiecient in the use of firearms to lead a student just enough to pick them off. Less leading is needed for fat, retarded, female, or very young students.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
Teamwork is essential, only thru team work can one triumph over an opposing group
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
Teamwork is essential as it gives the shooter more people to shoot at. The simple law of probability is in ones favor here. With more people around you, someone else is more likely to take the hit. However, like in dodgeball, large groups tend to draw more fire, so its important the group stay well spaced and kept moving. The group is also well motivated to move as fast as possible, as stragglers are often picked off more easily then others. Remember, only thru teamwork can the individual excell, or in this case, survive by using his team mates as sheilds, or hiding under their bodies in worse case scenarios
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
If not a skilled player, avoid proximity to best members of your team, as they are likely targets.
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
It is well documented in highschool popularity tends to go to those both attractive and physically fit, those people who no doubt excelled in the sport of dodgeball went on to become the upper echelon of highschool society. These very same people also tend to draw as much hatred as they do adoration from their classmates, and therefor draw the most incoming fire from other classmates. Close proximity to one of these people could result in catching fire ment for someone else, it is best to avoid these highrisk people. Besides, if they are killed, the social status of those who survive should increase slightly with each popular student killed.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
When a skilled player, the likelyhood of you being singled out for early elimination by your opponent increases dramatically. It is therefor adviseable to seek the cover and support of your team mates to reduce the chanes of being hit.
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
As most highschool shootings are perpetrated by students who are fairly alienated and outcast, they tend to seek out the social elite to vent their own feelings of self loathing and hatred on. The more popular members of the student body would be well advised to seek refuge behind those very same sort of people who seek to take their lives. Most noteably would be members of the chess team, school news paper staff, students wearing black trench coats, or preferably fat kids as they tend to aborb much incoming fire and restrict the field of fire considerably.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
A good offense is the best defense
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
The very nature of highschool shootings doesnt really afford the targets of the attack many options when it comes to offense. This by no means should deter taking offensive action should the opportunity arise. The assailents will be highly emotional and very focused on what they are doing. The phyisical attributes of said attackers is also not consistant with that of a gifted athlete. If they were in any way intelligent or physically gifted, chances are they would be on the other side of the gunfire. The resulting combination of intense focus and emotion, compounded by lacking physical attributes should leave them vulnerable to a counter attack should the chance arise. Anything from blunt force trauma to the head with a chair or something as simple as a tackle should afford a chance to disarm the gunman.
Behavior Learned from Dodgeball:
Know your opponent, identify possible threats before the whistle blows.
Learned Behavior as Applicable to Highschool Shooting Scenarios:
It is best to be aware of potential threats well before they present themselves as threats. In addition, a familiarity with the surroundings also lends itself towards survival. Be conscious of those who have been bullied, single out for ridicule, or repeatedly humiliated infront of others as these tend to be primary motivators for such violent lunch room outbreaks. Having an eye on them and knowing where they are in relation to potential targets might be the only deciding factor in survival.
In summary, the continued presence of dodgeball in American Elementary schools is of the utmost importance. Given the prevelance of shootings in Highschools in this age of media exposure and copycat crimes the importance of maintaining some level of survival training at an earlier age must be maintained and expanded, no eliminated. Removing dodgeball from grammar schools for the sake of saving a few children's hurt feelings will deprive them of the valuable instincts they will gain as a result of playing. To date, a relatively small percentage of students out of the total school population have fallen to the guns of disgruntled co-eds. This number of dead and wounded will sky rocket in the years to come as predator/victim games are taken out of schools where children are supposed to be learning how to survive in the world. The simple truth is, children learn their fight or flight reflexes at an early age, and it is obviously more preferable that they learn this instinct in a game where a bruised ego is the only consequence. In conclusion, being pegged with a red ball hurts the body and emotions alot less than being pegged by a .30 calibre high velocity bullet.