Bwahahaha
Tremble, Leeds, I'm coming back home. I've managed to convince myself that a couple of days back home visiting my mum and dad will cure all ills, magically do all my work for me and give me an erection within 45 minutes of swallowing a soft tab. Well, a spam e-mail convinced me of the latter, but going home gives me a bone, in a spiritual sense at least.
Plans are:
1. See parents, drink all their beer. This is a mean feat, they have a fridge that contains only beer, such is their love of it. But they haven't brought me up to set my sights low.
2. Visit Metro, the only remaining pet still alive from my childhood. He's a pony my parents took in after he got abandoned 20 years ago. Owning a pony makes me sound posh, like I own half of wiltshire and enjoy fucking my cousins.
3. Go to North Bar with my old school friends. Drink Erdinger and smoke cigars, just like when we nicked off games at school
4. See if the mexican wrestling mask sellers are still selling on the high street. I like the idea of a wrestling mask, if only so I can burst into my house and scare the shit out of my housemates.
5. Buy tobacco at Greens and smoke it, laughing like a crazed walrus.
6. Go to Bronte country and pretend I'm Kate Bush. This only works if I've completed 1. and 3.
7. Fry up in Leeds market. Last time I tried to eat it all I failed miserably. Got my recommended yearly allowance of meat in a bread bun the size of a bin lid.
8. Find out what Eeeynip Po means
9. Visit friends at Leeds Met
Tremble, Leeds, I'm coming back home. I've managed to convince myself that a couple of days back home visiting my mum and dad will cure all ills, magically do all my work for me and give me an erection within 45 minutes of swallowing a soft tab. Well, a spam e-mail convinced me of the latter, but going home gives me a bone, in a spiritual sense at least.
Plans are:
1. See parents, drink all their beer. This is a mean feat, they have a fridge that contains only beer, such is their love of it. But they haven't brought me up to set my sights low.
2. Visit Metro, the only remaining pet still alive from my childhood. He's a pony my parents took in after he got abandoned 20 years ago. Owning a pony makes me sound posh, like I own half of wiltshire and enjoy fucking my cousins.
3. Go to North Bar with my old school friends. Drink Erdinger and smoke cigars, just like when we nicked off games at school
4. See if the mexican wrestling mask sellers are still selling on the high street. I like the idea of a wrestling mask, if only so I can burst into my house and scare the shit out of my housemates.
5. Buy tobacco at Greens and smoke it, laughing like a crazed walrus.
6. Go to Bronte country and pretend I'm Kate Bush. This only works if I've completed 1. and 3.
7. Fry up in Leeds market. Last time I tried to eat it all I failed miserably. Got my recommended yearly allowance of meat in a bread bun the size of a bin lid.
8. Find out what Eeeynip Po means
9. Visit friends at Leeds Met
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
abarat:
Did you find out what Eeeynip Po means? Am I missing a joke? Hope you had a good time. 
wendy_k:
Coming back to Leeds hmmm, I shall have to look out for you, you can't be hard to miss in that pirate hat and eye patch, either that or your big silly hat with large fluffy ear flaps