sick

Ooo, bet you're wonderin' how I knew,
'Bout your plans to make me blue.
With some other guy that you knew before,
Of the two of us guys you know I love you more.

Bleak days, my friends.

Last night I was trying to think of a simple math proof that I've done a million times. I didn't work on it long, but it should have come easily. Yet it eluded me.

I'm losing my abilities.

To top it all of I heard from MathGirl. This is usually a good thing, but she's told me she's gotten back together with her ex boyfriend. I know I can't expect her not to see anyone, I know she's not really mine. But it still hurts.

And so now I don't even have my desperate hopes of her to sustain me through the other difficulties I'm facing.

At least she told me herself. I respect that.

I'm getting drunk tomorrow. All day.

____

It's Fate's cruel joke for me to be loved by women. Over the years I've been close to quite a few. A woman will tell me her deepest, most secret feelings and desires. She'll tell me things she'd tell no other living soul. She will trust me in ways unthinkable to many of us. She'll tell me she can't live without me. Yet when she chooses to date someone, that someone is invariably not me. My destiny is to always be the best friend, never the boyfriend.

I've never been able to understand why the two are mutually exclusive.