It's almost 1 am, and I'm just getting home. I went and saw some of my good friends from high-school. I haven't seen them for ages now. They had a keg that needed to be finished, so I helped them out.
Yeah, so I'm 24 years old, and I'm a drunk. Not an alcoholic; alcoholics to to meetings. And not an abuser of alcohol - alchohol abuse involves a distruption of a persons life - getting drunk before and during work, beating the family, that sort of thing.
I just drink to have fun. And to escape. And why shouldn't I? I have a father that's been dead for almost 15 years. My grandparents have been dying ever since. Now my grandmother has stage IV Sezany's Synrome (a rare type of lymphoma) and has less than two years to live. My grandparents have been together since they were 13 years old; I know that once my grandma is gone, my grandfather will take his shotgun to himself. My mother's mother had a sudden stroke 3 days before last Thanksgiving, and was gone the next day.
I've spent more time in funeral homes than anyone else I know.
I'm alone. No girlfriend; The Woman I Love is many miles away. I've never even told her exactly how I feel. I don't think it would be fair, since there's nothing that we can do about it. She's in grad school, and I'm not going to interrupt her future for some selfish reason.
Though I am selfish. I admit it. I want to make her mine, and damn the consequences.
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
But she doesn't have a lot to say.
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
but she changes from day to day.
I want to tell her that I love her a lot,
but I gotta get a belly full of wine.
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
Someday I'm gonna make her mine,
Oh yeah, someday I'm gonna make her mine.
I find myself telling her things I can't tell anyone else. I never tell anyone my feelings, except her (and this damn journal thing. What is it about alcohol and anonymity that makes me write whatever I'm thinking?). I think that's part of the alcohol problem. I can't let go until I've had a few. Damn my Norwegian heritage!
No, but really, things aren't so bad. But I want some of you to know how much I appreciate you. I think you know who you are.
Goodnight.
Yeah, so I'm 24 years old, and I'm a drunk. Not an alcoholic; alcoholics to to meetings. And not an abuser of alcohol - alchohol abuse involves a distruption of a persons life - getting drunk before and during work, beating the family, that sort of thing.
I just drink to have fun. And to escape. And why shouldn't I? I have a father that's been dead for almost 15 years. My grandparents have been dying ever since. Now my grandmother has stage IV Sezany's Synrome (a rare type of lymphoma) and has less than two years to live. My grandparents have been together since they were 13 years old; I know that once my grandma is gone, my grandfather will take his shotgun to himself. My mother's mother had a sudden stroke 3 days before last Thanksgiving, and was gone the next day.
I've spent more time in funeral homes than anyone else I know.
I'm alone. No girlfriend; The Woman I Love is many miles away. I've never even told her exactly how I feel. I don't think it would be fair, since there's nothing that we can do about it. She's in grad school, and I'm not going to interrupt her future for some selfish reason.
Though I am selfish. I admit it. I want to make her mine, and damn the consequences.
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
But she doesn't have a lot to say.
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
but she changes from day to day.
I want to tell her that I love her a lot,
but I gotta get a belly full of wine.
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
Someday I'm gonna make her mine,
Oh yeah, someday I'm gonna make her mine.
I find myself telling her things I can't tell anyone else. I never tell anyone my feelings, except her (and this damn journal thing. What is it about alcohol and anonymity that makes me write whatever I'm thinking?). I think that's part of the alcohol problem. I can't let go until I've had a few. Damn my Norwegian heritage!
No, but really, things aren't so bad. But I want some of you to know how much I appreciate you. I think you know who you are.
Goodnight.
-Algae, Cannon Beach, Oregon Coast
-Cape Lookout, Oregon Coast
-Sunset out my bedroom window, Cornelius, OR (don't live there anymore)
-High School Band room ceiling
-Morning view out dorm window in Edinburgh on Orchestra trip
-Some gate house in Britain somewhere, don't remember where
-Grounds of a castle in Scotland
-Cape Lookout again, different trip, different view. One of my favorite places in the world.