sick

One of my best friends was beat up by her on-again/off-again boyfriend last week. Merry fucking Christmas. It pisses me off; I have this ridiculous need to try to protect the people I care about, and I don't like failing. This isn't the first time he'd hit her, but he went to jail this time. Nevertheless, I can't help but feel that she'll go back to him. And what will it be next time? Broken bones? The hospital? How long until she starts telling people she fell down the stairs, or ran into a door?

She's the last person I would have thought could fall into this pattern; she was always strong, and wouldn't take shit from anybody. I guess it goes to show that it can happen to anyone.

It's hard, because though I know it would never work, I love her myself, and want better for her.

How do assholes like that—I refuse to call them men—get girlfriends, while I (who certainly do not beat women) don't? I think it has to do with their aggressiveness. The same thing that makes them beat women also causes them to pursue them aggressively, and they get what they want. I, on the other hand, am too passive. For example, I was supposed to hang out with this same women after she was done with work on Saturday; she left me a message saying she was sorry, but she was too busy. I felt I was being brushed off, and was hurt, but I just responded, Oh. Ok, and let it slide. There's also this other woman I'd really like to ask out next week, but I probably won't. Again because I'm not aggressive enough, or presumtuous enough, to interrupt and push myself into someone's life.

What's the point?

Gloomy thoughts for Christmas Eve. I'm off to wrap some presents.

Merry Christmas everyone!