Well just when you think you are finally getting to a point where you can start to break even, after you have lost everything worth loosing......you find out what people really think of you.....people who you think care for you and love you.....that I can tell you is a crushing blow.......when you are practicly called lazy because you haven't lost 30lbs. in 2 months. When you find that you are never right simply because someone is never wrong. When they expect you to be a machine and run 24/7 and not sit down in the air.....When they all but call you a liar about why you lost your job.....then you know you are really and truly alone in this world.....there is no safty net....there is no fall back because you are at the bottom. You are starting all over again.... except this time you don't start fair.....you start in the whole..you start with EVERYTHING aginst you......and you know you have no where else to go..... 
and i think you're awesome.