siara

\m/ ......Hope everything is going well for you in your world!!!!

I am feeling particularly happy today .... hmmm not sure why, that is rare for me these days.. been feeling really depressed lately.. trying to work out what the hell I should be doing with my life!!... but is there ever really an answer to that question!?!?! Why do I feel like I have to accomplish something with my life anyway... I really just want to be happy. I have been feeling like starting a clothing company was a bad idea... it is fucking hard work and with all the thousands of $$ that I have put into it, plus all the time I could have been working and earning extra bling$bling I could almost own my own house by now... but then again that would mean I would be paying off a mortgage & working full time for someone else.. which would drive me totally insane!.. I hated working 5 days a week, knowing that I had to get up early and start work at a set time at the same place every day, which is why I started my own company in the first place. I have never really wanted all the commercial bullshit stuff we are told that we want -- get married, get a huge mortgage & buy a house, have 2.5 kids, a dog & cat, work 8-5 every day to pay off all your debts until you retire and live happily ever after!!! .... hmmm.. that never really interested me.. I have always wanted to get rich and retire young... So anyway I have decided to think more positively and throw myself into my business 100% and if I succeed then that is fucking cool and if not then at least I have tried... but I am going to succeed!!!!



I got a new piercing last week!! it is like a labret piercing but on the right hand side under my lip... not sure what it is called.. I have been wanting to get one for ages.. and I didnt faint!! YAH! .. This is a good thing for me!.. I am so bad with stuff like that.. I think I have fainted about 10 times in my life... The scariest and worst time was when I decided to get my tongue pierced at a piercing shop in France where they could only barely speak English... I though I could syke myself into not fainting.. but after the needle went through I could see the inevitable stars and blackness coming towards me... then I was totally out. It is the worst most fucked up thing when you come to... all these thoughts were going through my head trying to work out if I was dead, how I died and who I was. It must only last for a few seconds but it feels like ages... then the guy started to talk to me in French... then I could feel something on my face and wiped it off and looked at my hand to see it covered in blood from the piercing!!! I was totally fucking freaked!!! ... I finally remembered what had happened & where I was after what seemed like ages. I dread the fainting part way more than the actual piercing!!

I had the worst nightmare the other night... I woke up screaming! Ive had the exact nightmare before.. i am lying on a road and I cant move and a truck is backing over my head about to run me over.. it is so fucking scary.. I have this strange phobia of getting my head run over my a car.. when I am standing at crossings near cars I always think how I could trip over and fall onto the road and fall in front of the cars... hehe ok yes i am insane...

I get a couple of reoccurring nightmares.. in the other one I am at war.. there are people being killed all around me.. blood everywhere.. I have a gun but I cant find any bullets.. I am looking everywhere but I cant find any and am totally scared.. but then when someone tries to kill me I shoot them dead and some how my gun is full of bullets... then as soon as they are dead I am freaking out looking for bullets again.. it is all very strange and must mean something... not that I believe in dream books. I dont understand how there can be a universal dreaming language when people have such different thoughts and views on things.. I believe you are the only one that can interpret your own dreams.

Going to update my website this week with photos of all the shirts... which will hopefully make it better and you will be able to see what the shirts are like a bit more.. plus I am going to put up some of my one-off items!! Went and saw another shop on the weekend and they will be putting in an order this week, plus the other shop want more stock cause they sold out!.. so things are going well!!

s to you!!!!!!!!!!!! \m/ Have a most lurvely week!!!!!

SIARA
XXXXX


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