shroom

Its not often I put anything with actual insight on this journal. Usually its full of 'lulz' and geeky shit. But lately I've been thinking.

It all began after the SGAU Brisbane Halloween party. After the puking (not mine).

The day after the party, I had that 'just got laid' grin and good mood, even though there was no secksing. You see, for a long, long, long, long (14 years) time I've been on a roller coaster battle with depression. Sometimes, there are days when I feel closed off, alone and doomed. These are more often than not, unfortunately. My depression has made me more or less reclusive, alienating me from many of my friends who had taken the 'get over it, its not like you're sick' attitude.

Sometimes, though..

Sometimes, I feel like I can beat this shit and cling to any hope and brief time I spend above the waterline.
Saturday night was one of those small victory nights for me. Its not being around happy people that does it for me, but the right kind of happy people. I met so many wonderful folk, shared drinks, laughed, told jokes, got told to shut the fuck up and frankly, it was the most fun I had in years. Its these small victories that keep me going. I am feeling the joy of hopefully having made new friends and the regret and longing that comes with the night having to end. So I'm going to savor this feeling until the next time we can all get together and let our hair down (Cept for Cawlin, who has no hair.)

I also wanted to turn this into a thank you note, to all the people who added me to their buddy list afterwards. I've never had so much attention and it makes me happy Even if only in a small way. So thank you, all you wonderful, beautiful freaks. I can't wait to be in the company of such distinguished, warm and loving freaks again.

Love, Shroom.