shpeecialz

I'm in a couple of the poetry groups and I've already posted this in Urban Poetry Cafe... but I thought it's still worth posting to my profile... hope you enjoy it Again, please feel free to provide feedback!

Don't see beauty
NO I see right through me
This pile of flesh before your eyes
Inner beauty? Don't think so... it's definitely no surprise
You don't see it, it's simply not there
...to this defiant artist
No excuses anymore
As I'm an unloved whore
No self control or time to let go...
and anytime I smile at you
I'm simply putting on a show

This is a confession of never-ending depression
Anxiety attacks nightly

Wondering
"if I was pretty"....
WHO I JUST MIGHT BE?
And might he
just love me?

Confront me, comfort me, control me
Abuse me, use me and constantly consume me.
I'd like to paint a pretty picture
but molestation's clouded my brain with everything negatively you see

Those daily expressions of my worthlessness
were mom and dad's love... "a hug and kiss"
and I can't end the pain the proper way
seems these cuts on my arms are just for play.