shojo

Roughly a month ago I offered my beloved SG community a bit of helpful advice on the matter of molesting ones priviledges with the " " emoticon. Although comments like ''wpw you have teh gbest tits evar!! " still rage across the landscape, reducing the sperm count in our country and increasing the risk of HIV/AIDS in the African-American community, I think I was enough of a facetious jackwad to feel justified about saying what I said.

And here I sit, wondering how I could possibly update my journal and maintain the standards of humor that you, the reader, have come to expect. This would be SO much easier if I could manage to get you drunk first, and then possibly take pictures of you passed out and spooning a naked clown. Can you say comedy-ninja?

Instead, I've decided to start my own advice column. Let those syndicated advice writers be damned! Unlike those shiftless twats I'm only in this business for the sake of helping people in need and occasionally tricking those I don't like into running as many red lights as they can or by mistaking an electrical outlet for the lock on the front door and sticking their keys into it. Heh heh... fuckers.

So... now I just need to think of something to give advice about....


This is you, the reader. "What a fabulous journal entry," you think to yourself, "my, it was exquisite."