shojo

Let me tell you something, my little internet ferrets. I dislike having sex dreams. I can imagine you now, your hand slowly withdrawing from the front of your pants to your head in order to scratch it quizzically. You mumble to yourself, "But how can anybody dislike sex dreams? Why, they're better than Lee press-on nails or a game of strip hop-skotch."

Let me explain. In my dreams, reality often because a twisted parody of the real world. All natural laws are withdrawn and nothing is as it seems. In the real world I can pull down my pants and be POSITIVE my penis isn't replaced with a telescope. But in a dream, anything is possible! I'm positive there's some telescope fetish out there, but that's another story together!

Her eyes were bright, like fire. Dangerous, like fire. And could possibly cook my breakfast, like fire. But I didn't think she'd appreciate strips of bacon on her face at that exact moment. Maybe later(?)

She held me like I've never been held. Like I was needed. Like I was desired. Like I was on sale because the holidays prices had dropped. I was afraid, afraid that I would displease her, afraid of what she might do to me, afraid of what might happen, afraid because she was singing "Swing low, sweet chariot" and that like, really freaked me out, afraid because I knew this was what I wanted.

I pleased her, more than I thought possible. I woke up, excited. Was this a prophecy of some sorts? A foreshadowing to some future relationship? I rushed online to find answers. After a quick google search for a dream encyclopedia I found:

It may be a form of wish fulfillment or compensation for a lack in daily life. In most cases, it is not a prediction of things to come in the near future."

SON OF A BITCH!

Post Script Yes, the person in the dream is on this site.

Post Post Script No, it's not you.