shojo

I can safely conclude that my face and cameras combined can result in some pretty unnerving images. Imagine a box full of turtles. Aww. Now imagine the same box being crushed by a tank and you might get the picture. To add effect, you can make a squishing sound while stomping on potato chips.

So bollocks to my attempts at being vainglorious.

I pickeded up myself a copy of David Sedaris' Holiday on Ice. Nothing's funnier than making fun of the sheep-like masses that you yourself most likely belong too, right? Although I can say with a certain amount of pride that I hate the holidays with the same amount of vehemence I have for the Paris Hilton sex tape.

Also, I can't think of anything more frustrating than getting cut in line. It must hit some old pet-peeve I had during grade school.

I'd always be the last to get the rice-krispies. Holy crap... my childhood was terrible! I'm miserable! Now I'm going to have to write terrible poetry about being alone on an online journal.
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Change you stupid fucking profile picture! Change now! Your mom is a whore! Go away and die, profile picture! Strop driving me insane and making me talk to you! I am in crazytown!