shojo

During my SG sabbatical, I've acquired a curious affinity for senseless murder.

I suspect it's the ramifications of inner-scars inflicted by listening to too much Dashboard Confessional back in the day.

I also wear too much eye-liner and often find myself resisting inexplicible urges to chew on the back of this girls neck.

Resistance.
Consideration.
Inevitible capitulation.

I've rejoined the site for four reasons.

1) Pornography seems pointless and contrived without the inclusion of vacuous and pretensious online journal entries like these.

2) The internet is a cold, empty husk; with an existance that is tiresome and excessively laden with strife and antagonism.

3) I am a cold, empty husk; with an existance that is tiresome and excessively...
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All this time, and the problem has been me.

Bye now.

(Er, no, not a suicide note.)

Will things make me less happy?
WHEN I GET BACK!?

I've just returned from Hawaii. Nothing can make one detest being single or detest almost obscenely large crowds, more than the beaches of Waikiki. String bikinis, broiling flesh, hardened pecs, and the unmistakable scent of greasy sun tan lotion.... it all makes me want to murder endangered animals, really.

We just might work out fine...
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Sapir and Whorf would be proud of me, if they weren't so, you know, dead. There's no one word to describe her, it's not in the English language to describe her, not to my knowledge at least.

She is hypnotically beautiful, the kind of beautiful you'll find yourself staring at for days without noticing until she gives you the kind of look reserved for those...
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I have nothing of signifigance to say... so I'll just say this...

"Aaaah THERE WAS A FIRE-FIGHT!"

I just got surgery on my septum.

Not fun.

Not fun at all.

I'd tell you more about it, but every time I reach for the "e" key my nose gushes snot/blood.

Anybody got some vicodin?

Roughly a month ago I offered my beloved SG community a bit of helpful advice on the matter of molesting ones priviledges with the " " emoticon. Although comments like ''wpw you have teh gbest tits evar!! " still rage across the landscape, reducing the sperm count in our country and increasing the risk of HIV/AIDS in the African-American community, I think I was enough...
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"Before we trace Khoisan survival beyond the Bantu tide, let's see what archaeology tells us about Africa's other great prehistoric population movement-the Austronesian colonization of Madagascar"- Jared Diamond.

Oh yes, Mr. Diamond... let us do this! Let us soar across the magical expanse of history in all it's faceted glory! Let us bath ourselves with the cool, crystaline waters of knowledge and feast upon the...
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So heres the deal, folks. I need something to give my self-esteem a much needed boost, and as Ive been inspired by GeistEditor over at SomethingAwful, I figure thered be no better way to make my penis feel three to four inches longer (in just three weeks!!!!) than by wallowing in the self-righteous and priggish American pastime of telling people that they're fired. It's a...
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Dad: Josh, you sure are hanging out with a lot of gay people lately. Poetry reading, nightclubs... you're still straight right?

Me: What the fuck kind of question is that?

Dad: Haha, just checking......... *Throws Holy Water in my face* THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!

Me: Gah!

Dad: Just checking!

Me: Son of a cunt!