Friends, Lovers & My Illegitimate Children (wherever you are),
Its Furious. In the spirit of not knowing what to write about, I decided to tell you whats been on my mind this entire week. So consider this ten entries for the price of one.
.Have any of you ever got naked, squeezed a 50-foot razor blade between your butt crack, and then slid into a giant glass of lemon juice? Last weekend, my mother posed this question to me, and let me tell you, it seriously freaked me out
.
.Holy crap. A John Stamos song just started playing on my iTunes. How the hell did that get there?
.
.There are cockroaches in my apartment. I walked into my bathroom, turned on the light and saw this huge monster cockroach chilling out by my toilet. It was at least two inches long, no lie. I dont even know if it was a cockroach because it was so huge. It got away when I tried to smash it with an empty toilet paper roll. I bought a roach motel, but now before I step into my bathroom I take a quick look around. I also leave the lights on. Bugs are scary and evil.
.
.Weve set up our WebCams. While at first I was a big proponent of these things, its weird to have people watching you all day If my camera isnt pointed directly at my face, its only because I think the CIA has inserted a chip into my brain and theyre watching me.
.
.I bought a new cell phone. Its a Treo 600 and it kicks cellular ass. Its a phone/palm pilot. Now I can take pictures, write email and play video games all on one device. Instead of reading magazines on the toilet, I surf the web and play games. But its a little weird when somebody hears the words, "Destroy Enemy Battle Ship!" coming from a bathroom stall, let alone a phone.
.
.Our office is next to a window on a busy Vancouver intersection. In the winter this isnt a problem because girls wear clothes during the winter. Now its summer. How can I concentrate when every women walking down the street is practically naked?
.
.I need another vacation. Where should I go? Im not a sit around and do nothing person.
.
.I have to go to the bathroom now. Hope the cockroaches are all dead.
Furious,
Senior Executive Writer/Dental Anomaly
Its Furious. In the spirit of not knowing what to write about, I decided to tell you whats been on my mind this entire week. So consider this ten entries for the price of one.
.Have any of you ever got naked, squeezed a 50-foot razor blade between your butt crack, and then slid into a giant glass of lemon juice? Last weekend, my mother posed this question to me, and let me tell you, it seriously freaked me out
.
.Holy crap. A John Stamos song just started playing on my iTunes. How the hell did that get there?
.
.There are cockroaches in my apartment. I walked into my bathroom, turned on the light and saw this huge monster cockroach chilling out by my toilet. It was at least two inches long, no lie. I dont even know if it was a cockroach because it was so huge. It got away when I tried to smash it with an empty toilet paper roll. I bought a roach motel, but now before I step into my bathroom I take a quick look around. I also leave the lights on. Bugs are scary and evil.
.
.Weve set up our WebCams. While at first I was a big proponent of these things, its weird to have people watching you all day If my camera isnt pointed directly at my face, its only because I think the CIA has inserted a chip into my brain and theyre watching me.
.
.I bought a new cell phone. Its a Treo 600 and it kicks cellular ass. Its a phone/palm pilot. Now I can take pictures, write email and play video games all on one device. Instead of reading magazines on the toilet, I surf the web and play games. But its a little weird when somebody hears the words, "Destroy Enemy Battle Ship!" coming from a bathroom stall, let alone a phone.
.
.Our office is next to a window on a busy Vancouver intersection. In the winter this isnt a problem because girls wear clothes during the winter. Now its summer. How can I concentrate when every women walking down the street is practically naked?
.
.I need another vacation. Where should I go? Im not a sit around and do nothing person.
.
.I have to go to the bathroom now. Hope the cockroaches are all dead.
Furious,
Senior Executive Writer/Dental Anomaly
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
So you're a Shihad fan?! That rocks... Killjoy is the best, incase you don't have it.
Oh and, it's not my birthday... i didn't get the hidden meaning in that, but I rarely do.
Until next time,
ViX