shinyb

So, today I officially went back to class for the first time.

It's a 6 pm class, but I kinda wish I hadn't eaten dinner before leaving. For some reason, I was really nervous waiting for class to start... almost to the point of a panic attack. I was afraid my stomach was going to act up in the middle of class.

I kept trying to tell myself that this was ridiculous. It's a three hour class. I should be able to handle that without my system, both mental and physical, going into "panic mode."

Once class started, the panic started to fade, for a while. Then I started getting the chills that let me know Trouble's Coming. Luckily, during in a break in the action, so to speak, I was able to politely excuse myself.

I don't know why I was/am, so nervous to the point where it sets off my nervous digestive tract. Later, when the class moved to the computer lab, I felt much better. Maybe I'm addicted to computers, and my body has to be bathed in "computer radiation" to function normally. I don't want to go back on the anti-anxiety pills. Good thing I'm still jobless and don't have insurance.

Why does sitting in a classroom fill me with such dread? Am I afraid I'm going to work at this for a year or more and still have a worthless skill set? Already, from this one class, I have a feeling this place isn't as "modern" as I was led to believe.

I hope it goes better Wednesday or Friday, whenever my next class is. (Long. unrelated story.)