shinracorp

so... tonight i hung out with some girl. i half expected to hook up with her.

i didnt.

turns out she hooked up a bunch of times with some kid i despise.

good, fact of the matter is that i really dont want just fooling around anyway because i need something more stable.
i am really very upset. im sitting here with a 40 thinking and drinking. the whole walk home, the t ride, the drive was plagued with doubt in myself. i am very very very lonely and it sux. i cant seem to find anyone anymore. i always get hurt real quick. am i an asshole, am i creepy, am i just fat? i dont know... maybe its karma coming back to kick my ass because of my college lifestyle. all i really want is a girlfriend who is on time, cute, lets me play video games, enjoys watching movies with me, likes to drink with me, and cares about me unconditionally. well i guess im being too picky. no one ever has the total package i guess. i see all these people who make compromises because they care about someone. i say love is not having to compromise. again maybe im an asshole.

"If I could I surely would
Child ease your pain
But if I could no longer
Would you still know my name?

If I couldn't drain the tears
That pour from these eyes
Would you turn your back on me
Would you wave goodbye?

Or leave me way beyond empty inside
Awaiting my last day to arive
Way beyond empty inside
Awaiting my end to arrive

If I couldn't be the shoulder
Which your head would rest upon
Would you still be waiting (mama)
Or would you be gone?
If I couldn't keep the smile
Forever on your face
Would I still be around
Or would I be replaced?

(Yeah)Way beyond empty inside
Awaiting my last day to arive (yeah)
Way beyond empty inside
Awaiting my end to arrive

(And) Would you promise me
Things they'd never change
Could you promise me
That things they'd stay the same?

If I couldn't clear the clouds
From over your head
Would you keep your word to me
Amongst all the things you said?

Or leave me way beyond empty inside
Awaiting my last day to arive (yeah)
Way beyond empty inside
Awaiting my last day to arrive
Oh yeah child!"