I hope it doesn't sound horrible to say this, but I had a relatively good time. I saw old co-workers and we stood around and laughed about Steve and various other things... but mostly Steve. God, there are some good stories about him and I haven't even heard most of them.
Have I mentioned before about how I've recently developed a tendency to check myself out way too much? Like, if I walk by a mirror I automatically look... and the weird thing is I'm generally admiring myself... with most of my attention on my face, boobs and sometimes ass... haha. Is it bad when you start perving on yourself? I work with a lot of mirrors, so I feel self-conscious that my co-workers are going to start noticing how much I look at myself in the mirror and think I'm an egotistical bitch. I have one new work friend, she is cool. The others I get along with but she's closer to my age and we just have more in common. I feel kinda lonely there, other than when she's around.
In other news, I went to bed with my hair wet last night... I was so exhausted I didn't care how it'd look in the morning... this morning I got up early to go back to work (after closing the night before) only to brush my bangs out with a wet comb and blow-dry them and try to fix the hair that was still damp. So I ended up with crazy bed-head... but I figured some girls pay lots of money for that look so I just did as little makeup as possible and went with it.
So of course, now some pictures of it:
I can't wait for my hair to be long, like down to my waist long, just so I can see how it looks...Of course, I'm also ready for it to be my natural color all the way through again, which takes almost two years and an extreme haircut to manage... so before that happens I may just break down and dye it black or light blonde.
It makes me somewhat sad, I'm trying hard to make this relationship work out... and I have all this confidence, think "Man, I'm awesome... I'm really fucking hot, smart, sweet, loving, have a bit of an attitude, naturing, empathetic and kinky as fuck... constantly want sex and instigate it more often than not... And I'm very open and honest, especially in a relationship... especially with Rob. He's lucky as hell to have me. I fucking fought to get him back because I love him so much" and then I talk to him and I don't feel he feels that way... even if he does see it and does recognize he's being stupid about this, which I'm not able to say how he feels or thinks right now... but I just don't feel it, and all my confidence flies out the window and I'm left there being pouty and annoying and generally pathetic, having to get him to re-assure me.
Hopefully someday we'll communicate well enough and we'll both get better with our issues... I just want to get over losing my confidence with him because I know I have the best chance of getting this relationship to work by being confident. I just wish I could take his breath away, and it seems no matter what I do or how I try it doesn't work... maybe if I lost some weight... which I'm already doing (I've lost 11lbs total...but I haven't been actively trying lately... and that's from my average weight, I lost 10lbs in a week after my last visit up to St. Louis, where I had gained the 10lbs). Not skinny skinny, but a good, smaller weight. But I'm not too worried about it.
But now to hide the rest of my photos of my hair and makeup today behind a cut, enjoy... and feel free to comment on anything I posted, I need some love 