My mom is driving me crazy, honestly, she's the one person who can make me act like a horrible person. I feel so helpless with her, I just lash back as best I can, screaming, cursing and crying because I'm so frustraited. I resent her a lot, I've only recently accepted the fact that I do. For years people have said it's best we don't live together, and while I agree I stay with her to save up for school so that hopefully someday I can finish.
I've probably said this before, but my dog was the one thing keeping me sane and giving me a reason to stay with my mom. Now I'm just too scared to move, I can't see a great future any way I go... I just see me being unhappy for another five years or more no matter where I am. I used to be a very happy person, honestly.
Her (though I usually call them ours) cats prefer me to her, and I'm at the point I can't stand them so much.
Our cat, Figaro, won't leave my room suddenly. This is how I feel about it:
I can't stand the sound of cats cleaning themselves, and now that Mister's gone the cats have gotten more and more annoying. I'll probably want a cat again someday, but not until I have another dog. I've decided whatever I get has to be a poodle, or a poodle mix... but I really want another poodle. I've always wanted a standard poodle (the friggin' huge ones
) but I want one I can cuddle like Mister, so I'll probably get a miniature. I used to want different breeds, but Mister's death made me realize no normal dog can fill his place, I was looking through a poodle book and it talked about how smart they are, and almost human-like at times, and that was Mister.
Anyways, I'm tired of sounding like a broken record about my dead dog. It's pathetic, I know.
Today I forced myself to go for a run/walk because I'm really out of shape. I mean, I've always been fat, but I could run a lot more than I did today, and I've always been about as healthy as my skinny friends.
And now I'm telling my boyfriend maybe it would be best if he didn't buy tickets to visit me this Christmas, as I'm so unsure about what's going to happen between now and then. Ugh.
But I'll end my post on this happy photo of me note:
I've probably said this before, but my dog was the one thing keeping me sane and giving me a reason to stay with my mom. Now I'm just too scared to move, I can't see a great future any way I go... I just see me being unhappy for another five years or more no matter where I am. I used to be a very happy person, honestly.
Her (though I usually call them ours) cats prefer me to her, and I'm at the point I can't stand them so much.
Our cat, Figaro, won't leave my room suddenly. This is how I feel about it:
I can't stand the sound of cats cleaning themselves, and now that Mister's gone the cats have gotten more and more annoying. I'll probably want a cat again someday, but not until I have another dog. I've decided whatever I get has to be a poodle, or a poodle mix... but I really want another poodle. I've always wanted a standard poodle (the friggin' huge ones
) but I want one I can cuddle like Mister, so I'll probably get a miniature. I used to want different breeds, but Mister's death made me realize no normal dog can fill his place, I was looking through a poodle book and it talked about how smart they are, and almost human-like at times, and that was Mister.
Anyways, I'm tired of sounding like a broken record about my dead dog. It's pathetic, I know.
Today I forced myself to go for a run/walk because I'm really out of shape. I mean, I've always been fat, but I could run a lot more than I did today, and I've always been about as healthy as my skinny friends.
And now I'm telling my boyfriend maybe it would be best if he didn't buy tickets to visit me this Christmas, as I'm so unsure about what's going to happen between now and then. Ugh.
But I'll end my post on this happy photo of me note:
gwg_1313:
Stay home with your mom and make peace with her... she's just trying to guide your life in the right direction. 
chaotica:
We've named him Ash, hes an 8 week old collie cross. 