shimarisu

I thought I was starting to get over Mister's death, but I'm not.

I still look around my room and see random photos of him, and I tear up.

I woke up this morning and looked in front of my door to see if he was there chewing or sleeping, like he used to be the last few years of his life. Now that it's colder I just want to curl up, cuddling him, and attempt to go back to sleep. Before I got up to see if he was in the other room, which was another trick of his to not get yelled at for chewing, I remembered he was gone.

I'll be about to leave the house and I'll want to ask Mom where Mister is, or I'll want to tell him bye, or if I'm getting the mail I'll want to call him to come with me. I'll want to ask Mom how Mister is doing, or tell her to give him a kiss for me, but I'll catch myself before I say it. I can't even hear love songs or songs that are probably about humans without thinking of him and crying. He was the one thing keeping me sane, no matter how bad my mom got.

I know most people don't love their pets as much as I do, especially as much as I loved Mister...so I feel so stupid for still not being over it. And I'm so lonely without him, there are other dogs around... I've taken to petting my neighbor's dog, Bandit, when he comes over when I get home at night... but it's not the same. I wear the necklace with his ashes everyday, I feel bad because my co-worker gave me a necklace from Berlin, but I don't wear it because it looks odd with my pendant. I honestly wonder if I'll ever get over how much it hurts.